Is it normal to fetishizes things like rape and abuse in fiction but not life?

Hi! So I don't know if this is a bad thing or not, but let me just get myself out there. Alright, so, I read a lot of fiction. I also write too, except just very, very, short stories, since I am not talented nor a strong writer. I fetishize MANY things, some of those things being rape, abuse, etc. but the thing is, although I read and write it, I am NOT for it in real life. Whenever I hear about it I am absolutely disgusted, and sometimes I am just completely dumbfounded by the sickos that do these kinds of things in the real world.

But, I still read about it. Basically in my mind is, "if it's a fictionous story with fictional characters, there's nothing wrong with it because they are not real."

I don't know I this makes me a hypocrite or what...I mean I'm just so confused, it's obviously wrong, disgusting and vile in the real world, but is it okay for fictional stories?

I hope this doesn't make me seem like an ass or anything. By the way, I am a girl. I don't get aroused by reading and writing stories like this, I've just always been into things with horrible, depressing endings. I really hope this doesn't make me a bad person!.... Did I mention I feel like child abusers and rapists all deserve the death penalty? Especially murderers. I just strongly believe tha nobody has the right to take away someone's life. (Unless f course, the person A killed person B so person C Gets revenge by killing person A)

Am I fucked up? Or to word it in a euphemistic way, is it normal? Thank you!