I can't tell you if it's "normal" for you to feel like you were sexually assaulted by the doctor. That is your personal take based on your experiences and obviously the fact that "you" were not specifically asked for permission. I do however understand the doctor asking permission of your Grandma under the circumstances, and not asking you. Not saying it is right or wrong but the reality is that you had been cutting yourself, you were underage, and there was a legal adult in the exam room with you. The doctor may have had no choice but to only ask the adult from a legal standpoint. There also may have been a reason related to you cutting yourself why she wanted to check you down there. I can see being traumatized by actual sexual assault and because you were, I can also see how this could have been triggering. Therapy on the original assault is important and is the way to cure this secondary issue. What happened in the doctors office was NOT assault, but the other times were. Now it's up to you to seek out some help for these lingering emotional issues. Of course NOT going to the doctor anymore because of this is only hurting yourself and you could miss something important that could jeopardize your health or save your life, especially if you are not getting regular pap smears.
IIN to feel sexually assaulted by at a normal doctor exam?
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I can't tell you if it's "normal" for you to feel like you were sexually assaulted by the doctor. That is your personal take based on your experiences and obviously the fact that "you" were not specifically asked for permission. I do however understand the doctor asking permission of your Grandma under the circumstances, and not asking you. Not saying it is right or wrong but the reality is that you had been cutting yourself, you were underage, and there was a legal adult in the exam room with you. The doctor may have had no choice but to only ask the adult from a legal standpoint. There also may have been a reason related to you cutting yourself why she wanted to check you down there. I can see being traumatized by actual sexual assault and because you were, I can also see how this could have been triggering. Therapy on the original assault is important and is the way to cure this secondary issue. What happened in the doctors office was NOT assault, but the other times were. Now it's up to you to seek out some help for these lingering emotional issues. Of course NOT going to the doctor anymore because of this is only hurting yourself and you could miss something important that could jeopardize your health or save your life, especially if you are not getting regular pap smears.