Is it normal to feel lonely because of racial bullying as a child?

When I was in the 7th grade ( Grade 6 for other Canadians & the Europeans here ), I was constantly bullied because of where my parents are from, the way I look, and my family's culture. If you haven't read my bio, I'm here to inform you that I'm Half Cree & Half Italian. My mother and her family are from Palermo, in Sicily, and my Father and his family are all Cree, right off the reservation. An odd mix, I know, but here I am. Anyways, the kids in my middle school used to make fun of me and called me things like ''Halfbreed'' etc. I took it literally and caught myself thinking ' why don't I fit in? ', ' why can't I be like the other kids? ', ' No one will ever love me because my skin is darker. ''. A sad but honest truth. Now I look back and think ' those kids were in seventh grade, they were smart enough to think for even a second how their racist comments might affect me in the long run. ' So why didn't they? Can you answer my question? So now I'm very hesitant to tell people my racial background when they ask because I'm afraid they're going to morph into those little seventh graders from eight years ago. I also feel very isolated and lonely because, again I '' don't fit in. '' with people from the Cree community or the Italian community. PLEASE HELP!
Thanks -
SomewhereNorth

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Based on 11 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 39 )
  • ellnell

    Bullying causes a lot of emotional harm. It's very normal to feel lonley because of it even years later. Just try to fight the insecurity you feel because of it and focus on the present. Try to surrond yourself with people who accepts you for whom you are and don't let the rest get to you. There will always be assholes in the world.

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    • Thank you for being so kind and understanding! I have a lot of friends who support my culture and race. They don't mind who my family and friends are.

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  • leggs91200

    Middle school kids are the biggest bunch of assholes there is.
    I would imagine that pretty much everyone would say it was the worst time of their lives. 7th grade (American here) was my worst year.

    In middle school, kids WILL find something to bully their peers about. It sucks because puberty is the time when you are the most insecure, confused, frustrated, snd hormonal yet instead of trying to build you up, the world is tearing you down.

    Had it not been your biracial status, they would have found something else to bully about. It is not your fault.

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    • Thank you!

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  • DIO

    WTF man? Those people are stupid. Nobody can chose where they are from. But everyone can chose who they become. Those cunts obviously chose to be fucking losers. Cree are the first and real american. They are badass.
    Tell those shitheads to get fucked. Nobody as the right to feel superior to you based on where you're coming from.

    More importantly, you're not a Cree or an Italian, you're yourself first. Never forget that.

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    • Thank you! You’re so kind!

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  • charli.m

    He was telling you that the bullying you experienced has nothing to do with how you were currently feeling (he's probably wrong) and that moving would fix your problems (privileged fuck has absolutely no idea that it is not easy/practical/at all possible for most people to just move on a whim.

    I had had enough of his ignorant BS he liberally shovels all over the site and called him stupid (not exactly productive, I admit). It spiralled from there and that moon idiot decided to spout his ignorant shit, too.

    My last comment (prior to today) was meant to finish with an apology to you for derailing your post. It wasn't worth it; they're both terminally stupid, arrogant fuckknuckles.

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    • charli.m Well, I appreciate that, and I apologize for cursing you out. It was extremely immature of me. I hope you have a nice day ( or night ) and don't hate me for the previous.
      Thanks - SomewhereNorth

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      • charli.m

        No need to apologise, I can understand the confusion with the way this stupid site does notifications.

        And I still didn't even answer your question - which actually was a dick move.

        Kids are cruel. Particularly tweens and teens. They're all so focused on their own stuff and fitting in that it often happens that insecure kids turn to bullying. People who are "other" are a prime target - hence the racist attacks on you. I'm not at all defending it, it's shit that it happens. And of course it can have a major affect on you - it happened at a huge time of brain and personal development, it had a huge impact on you socially.

        You sound like you may benefit from some CBT therapy. I know that helped me with my anxiety. I'm not a mental health professional, and my experience is very different to yours. Best I can do is just offer that suggestion.

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        • Thank you very much!! I’ll try the CBT therapy!

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    • LloydAsher

      If you believe everyone is ignorant but yourself you are ignorant. See what I'm getting at? You dont like my perspective because it doesnt fit in your parameters so you call me ignorant.

      Also trying to take a high ground in that lil squabble is just a dick move tbh.

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      • charli.m

        I don't believe everyone but me is ignorant. I do think 99% of what you say is. It's not a matter of "fitting my parameters" it's a matter of you being uninformed about many things yet acting like you know everything. In this case, you were not only doing that, but also shitting all over the OP for no reason.

        Dude. Fuck. It's not "taking a high ground" it's called being an adult, realising you've derailed a post for an OP who doesn't deserve it and apologising accordingly.

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  • ToTheMoon

    Getting bullied because of the way you look is normal, happens to all of us.

    Canada is a very multi cultural place I wouldn't have thought racism was an issue. I mean you have the natives, you have black french Canadians, you have white french Canadians, you have african american Canadians, you have white americans, you have a lot of chinese in Canada and like you said they also have Italian and greek. You also have a huge amount of British descendants

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    • Canada may be multi cultural, multi racial, but it doesn't stop people from being racist.

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  • Iszzy123

    Farms meet . Com

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  • LloydAsher

    To be fair me and charli.m have some salt from the past.

    Though that did derail the conversation a bit out main points still lingers. life isnt fair, making the best out of your situation is the best way to improve it whether that's a change of scenery or a change in perspective. No one can change the past though you can try to alter how you remember it. That might not work so you'll have to deal with it but dont let it drag you down.

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    • Thank you for your advice, and I apologize for cursing you out. However, like ( I hope I do not make an enemy of you by saying this )
      charlie.m was saying, I cannot just move on a whim. I have too much to lose, and if you have ever worked/lived on a ranch, you would know what I am talking about. Also, I may have grown up in an Italian environment but I don't miss it, and I have no wish to move into one. I was simply seeking advice for feeling lonely, and I how I could possibly fit into one of family's cultures instead of being an outcast of both. -
      Thanks,
      SomwhereNorth

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  • LloydAsher

    Yeah that bulling then probably doesnt correlate to today's loneliness... go outside your comfort zone if you miss being in an Italian environment MOVE to one.

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    • charli.m

      How did you supposedly live to 21 and not die from stupidity? Have you ever actually experienced the world outside?

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      • LloydAsher

        Honorably Discharged 21 year old actually. So I've seen the world.

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        • charli.m

          Oh yeah? Such as?

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          • LloydAsher

            Japan, hong kong, Philippines, Thailand, california (which is looking more and more like a 2nd world nation these days) medically seperated due to undiagnosed condition after a 9 month deployment at sea.

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            • charli.m

              That's...That's not the world, champ. Nice try, but if you're gonna make up shit, don't immediately shoot yourself in the foot.

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    • I can't. I live on a ranch, I have way too much to lose. Too many animals to take care of, I would however, if I could.

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