I was always a tomboy. I played mainly with boys, outside, getting dirty, playing war games, sneaking into junkyards and other dumb shit boys tend to do. Girls thought I was very strange for it and I just could not conceive of doing the stuff that they liked because it all seemed so boring. I told my Dad that I didn't want to be a girl because girls were boring and wimpy and I didn't want to be associated with that noise.
I'm 23 now and I have realized a few things. For starters, being boring and wimpy is no where near a "girl" trait. My definition of "boring" is not shared with 100% of the world - my definition of fun is shooting, war games, obstacle course runs, racing and working on cars, comic conventions etc. I've found that even though most females don't share my interests, a lot of males don't either.
At the same time, I'm into "feminine things". My tattoo on my wrist is a pretty green and purple vine, I look like a woman and I work with kids and do a lot of counseling work in the education field which is something that is considered feminine. My Psychology professor loved using me as an example of what it meant to be androgynous.
Yes, there is a point to all of this. The point is that gender is an illusion. Gender is a classification that we reinforce by saying that a person or trait has to be one or the other. Think about all of the "real men" out there who don't know what the hell a head gasket is. Think of all of the "real women" out there who have no idea who or what Louis Vouitton is (I know I didn't spell that right).
A lot of your confusion can be alleviated by accepting that gender is a social construct. Even from a neurological standpoint, the differences between men and women are, more or less, restricted to the physiological (uteruses vs. penises, hormones etc.). While the physiological has *some* effect on behavior and temperament, both sexes exhibit pretty much the same neurological events even if they are for slightly different reasons.
That and there are plenty of girls out there who wish someone would tell them that they are beautiful. Not being beautiful or seen as beautiful doesn't make you any more of less of a person. It makes you normal, it anything.
Gender is not a social construct. Being a politically correct moron who doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand that gender traits are innate, is.
Want an example of a social construct? The ideology that gender is a social construct, is a social construct.
Incorrect, gender is a social construct. It is not socially accepted to be a man and like "girly" things and visa versa. Society has very gender specific roles.
Just because society tends to judge people who don't act according to their gender doesn't mean that everybody would suddenly become androgynous if those standards were removed from society. People generally act instinctively most of the time, based on their genetic structure. Men and women are inherently different compared to each other. Men are more aggressive due to their high testosterone level, women act more passive due to lower testosterone. Sure, there are exceptions, but those make up the minority.
Why do people feel the need to totally dismiss obvious biological facts?
Yeah, so the emerging data that increasingly proves that women display aggressive tendencies under the same conditions as males provided that the women are not being observed by males and the increasing happenstance of women being arrested for violent crime in all countries worldwide... It's an illusion, it never happened.
"Increasing"? It's still relatively uncommon. In fact, crime statistics go a long way in validating the claim that glaring discrepancies exist between genders. Exceptions do not negate rules.
Signed, an agender person often mistaken for a tranny.
And lack of data and proper reporting does not establish that females lacking violent tendencies is a rule.
Think about it. Think about your perception of female violence as a rule. It is the same mentality that cops carry when they are dealing with female aggressors, the same mentality that often prevents females from being arrested for domestic violence and child abuse and it is the same mentality that, at the same time, inhibits female violence behavior due to the social norm that females, as a rule, are not aggressors.
If you place these rules in effect in your society in that women must deal with their emotions through crying, reaching out for help and chocolate sprees and men deal with them through sheer, physical anger... I'm just going to throw out there that the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy can and does extend to a macro-level.
Here is a fun favorite. A lot of the data in this book I believe is from the 90's although the studies have been repeated with the same or similar results. Skip to page 26 and you'll see the study that I am talking about in regards to women dropping bombs on the interactive video game.
The evidence says that most innate behavioral nuances between the sexes are negligible at best. Don't call my political beliefs into this when I'm attempting to simply be informative. Yes. There are physiological differences. Yes. They do affect the general appearance and neurological makeup of an individual. Are those neurological differences of the caliber that we like to say they are? Not by a long shot, pun intended.
IIN to feel like you were born the wrong gender?
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I felt this way in the earlier part of my life.
I was always a tomboy. I played mainly with boys, outside, getting dirty, playing war games, sneaking into junkyards and other dumb shit boys tend to do. Girls thought I was very strange for it and I just could not conceive of doing the stuff that they liked because it all seemed so boring. I told my Dad that I didn't want to be a girl because girls were boring and wimpy and I didn't want to be associated with that noise.
I'm 23 now and I have realized a few things. For starters, being boring and wimpy is no where near a "girl" trait. My definition of "boring" is not shared with 100% of the world - my definition of fun is shooting, war games, obstacle course runs, racing and working on cars, comic conventions etc. I've found that even though most females don't share my interests, a lot of males don't either.
At the same time, I'm into "feminine things". My tattoo on my wrist is a pretty green and purple vine, I look like a woman and I work with kids and do a lot of counseling work in the education field which is something that is considered feminine. My Psychology professor loved using me as an example of what it meant to be androgynous.
Yes, there is a point to all of this. The point is that gender is an illusion. Gender is a classification that we reinforce by saying that a person or trait has to be one or the other. Think about all of the "real men" out there who don't know what the hell a head gasket is. Think of all of the "real women" out there who have no idea who or what Louis Vouitton is (I know I didn't spell that right).
A lot of your confusion can be alleviated by accepting that gender is a social construct. Even from a neurological standpoint, the differences between men and women are, more or less, restricted to the physiological (uteruses vs. penises, hormones etc.). While the physiological has *some* effect on behavior and temperament, both sexes exhibit pretty much the same neurological events even if they are for slightly different reasons.
That and there are plenty of girls out there who wish someone would tell them that they are beautiful. Not being beautiful or seen as beautiful doesn't make you any more of less of a person. It makes you normal, it anything.
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Crusades|
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Very well put. :)
Gender is not a social construct. Being a politically correct moron who doesn't have the cognitive ability to understand that gender traits are innate, is.
Want an example of a social construct? The ideology that gender is a social construct, is a social construct.
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NeuroNeptunian
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Incorrect, gender is a social construct. It is not socially accepted to be a man and like "girly" things and visa versa. Society has very gender specific roles.
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Crusades|
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Oh my god...
Just because society tends to judge people who don't act according to their gender doesn't mean that everybody would suddenly become androgynous if those standards were removed from society. People generally act instinctively most of the time, based on their genetic structure. Men and women are inherently different compared to each other. Men are more aggressive due to their high testosterone level, women act more passive due to lower testosterone. Sure, there are exceptions, but those make up the minority.
Why do people feel the need to totally dismiss obvious biological facts?
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NeuroNeptunian
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You raise good points, but biology isn't the issue. The issue is the OP feeling they were born the wrong gender.
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Just because it causes issues for some people, still doesn't make it a social construct.
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Well it does, when the OP feels they don't fit in with what society identifies as masculine.
Yeah, so the emerging data that increasingly proves that women display aggressive tendencies under the same conditions as males provided that the women are not being observed by males and the increasing happenstance of women being arrested for violent crime in all countries worldwide... It's an illusion, it never happened.
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"Increasing"? It's still relatively uncommon. In fact, crime statistics go a long way in validating the claim that glaring discrepancies exist between genders. Exceptions do not negate rules.
Signed, an agender person often mistaken for a tranny.
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And lack of data and proper reporting does not establish that females lacking violent tendencies is a rule.
Think about it. Think about your perception of female violence as a rule. It is the same mentality that cops carry when they are dealing with female aggressors, the same mentality that often prevents females from being arrested for domestic violence and child abuse and it is the same mentality that, at the same time, inhibits female violence behavior due to the social norm that females, as a rule, are not aggressors.
If you place these rules in effect in your society in that women must deal with their emotions through crying, reaching out for help and chocolate sprees and men deal with them through sheer, physical anger... I'm just going to throw out there that the concept of a self-fulfilling prophecy can and does extend to a macro-level.
I am liking this discussion so far, but could you provide a source? (Ex: a survey) This seems interesting.
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https://books.google.com/books?id=NqoWmrAoQn0C&pg=PA26&lpg=PA26&dq=females+aggressive+tendencies+dropped+bombs&source=bl&ots=VOVEb6x9ur&sig=SVDkUPDvUNJm_HFEuSpBbFzpov0&hl=en&sa=X&ei=ejoZVZ3rE9i4ogTBzICgBw&ved=0CCUQ6AEwAQ#v=onepage&q=bombs&f=false
Here is a fun favorite. A lot of the data in this book I believe is from the 90's although the studies have been repeated with the same or similar results. Skip to page 26 and you'll see the study that I am talking about in regards to women dropping bombs on the interactive video game.
The evidence says that most innate behavioral nuances between the sexes are negligible at best. Don't call my political beliefs into this when I'm attempting to simply be informative. Yes. There are physiological differences. Yes. They do affect the general appearance and neurological makeup of an individual. Are those neurological differences of the caliber that we like to say they are? Not by a long shot, pun intended.