Is it normal to feel guilty?

66% Normal
14 Comments

I'm a 20yo male and have only dated a couple times. Like most people, I do masturbate. I do feel guilty if I masturbate and fantasize about my significant other, unless she tells me it's okay or gives me permission in some way. I do love her and respect her and I've never masturbated without her O.K. I've also told her that I'm perfectly fine with giving up sex and such if it makes her happy and I get to continue dating her and having a wonderful relationship with her. This does lead her to tease me and tell me not to do anything about it because she does love seeing me embarrassed and she loves to torture me (innocent torture) because I do hate not being able to take care of my arousal and it does bother me, but I'm fine with her messing with me. I have been with her for over a year now

P.S. I don't date for sex or shallow things like that. I date for companionship and hopefully marry.

So... is it normal to feel guilty when masturbating and fantasizing about a significant other without their approval?

Voting Results
66% Normal
Based on 35 votes (23 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • mysistersshadow
    8 years ago

    You sound like your putting yourself thru alot of unnecessary misery or anxiety for no really good reason. If you want to masturbate then masturbate its really no ones business but your own.

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  • Lesbianus_Prime
    8 years ago

    I think that's nice of you actually compared to perverts jacking off to people they know. There's no way she would find out though haha.

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  • Rusty-Rider
    8 years ago

    Sex is not shallow unless there is no penetration :-) People are shallow, but not sex.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      By shallow, I mean dating for the sole purpose of having sex or things like that.

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      • Rusty-Rider
        8 years ago

        I see nothing wrong with saving your virginity until after marriage as long as your partner feels the same way. You'll have plenty of time for sex after that.

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  • Alice97
    8 years ago

    Completely normal. I'd encourage you to let her know you feel like that though -she deserves to know.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      She does know. And I do ask her any and every time, unless she implies I can or she knows that I'll masturbate (i.e. Skyping and we play a bit).

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  • %sherlockholmes%
    8 years ago

    bro we are man its normal for us to masturbate and tell me one thing dont you feel guilty after masturbating and fantising for other that means you love your partner soo much that even thinking about other caused you worry to write a post on IIN. BRO your parents give u good guts.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Thing is... I DON'T think about anyone but her when I masturbate. She's honestly the only one I think about.

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  • Zeus_
    8 years ago

    "I do feel guilty if I masturbate and fantasize about my significant other, unless she tells me it's okay or gives me permission in some way."

    ----

    You need to man-up. You don't need some chicks permission to masturbate.

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  • Zeus_
    8 years ago

    "P.S. I don't date for sex" .... "Sex" is the only reason to date, otherwise you're just hanging out being a token gay guy.

    "I date for companionship" ....That's not dating. That's hanging out with women being a token gay guy. If you want companionship, hang with your male friends. Women are for sexual entertainment if you're straight.

    " and hopefully marry." ... Would be really stupid to get married without first having sex with her quite often.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      So you basically see any and all women as sex toys and/or whores/sluts... right?

      I, for one, am perfectly fine with dying a virgin. I honestly wouldn't even care if my dick and nuts were to be removed (I am NOT talking about getting a gender change or anything of the sort) as long as I have a way of pissing. I feel that sex isn't EVERYTHING for a relationship. If you get some, that's just a bonus.

      As for hanging out with guy friends... I've never really made any because I've never really gotten along with many. I've either always butted heads with them, had nothing in common with them, or simply avoided them because they seemed like assholes or just a bunch of pricks who'd I'd eventually want to shove their teeth down their throats...

      I honestly wouldn't even really feel a thing about hurting them.

      And I don't understand what you mean by "being a token gay guy"... Please explain...

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      • Zeus_
        8 years ago

        At your age, women are mostly for sexual entertainment. What you want to call them is up to you. However, you don't need the distraction of a committed relationships until you've accomplished your personal goals, academic goals, and professional goals.

        Again, if you want to hang out with a woman, that's "Hanging out" , maybe a "Friendship", but it's not a committed relationship. What would she be committing to? Nothing.

        A "Token gay guy" is a straight male who hangs out with women, but has never had sex with any of them. She has "Friendzoned" that male.

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  • Zeus_
    8 years ago

    You're only 20, you don't need to have a significant other. Start dating other women.

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