Is it normal to daydream about a character as though they're my significant other?

Not in an anime waifu sort of way, I'm a guy with ADHD and I'm hyperfixated on a character/persona of the lead singer of a band I'm into.

I go through my days thinking to myself as though he's there with me- talking to him in my head, picturing his reactions to things, etc. I also have an idealized version of myself I imagine in his universe, taking place kind of concurrently like a multiverse scenario. It's still me, I just sort of 'tune in' to that version of me and can still operate in this universe as well while daydreaming about being alternate-me.

This isn't a personal detriment, it doesn't cause any strife as I never act outwardly in any way like that's the case- for all intents and purposes I come off as a completely normal person.

It makes me happy and comfortable to imagine him with me, and to some degree feels like a real relationship. I've done this with several different characters in the past- at this point I'm thinking its something to do with my ADHD and some kind of poor grasp on fiction vs. reality & my hyperfixations.

What also worries me is that I have a real boyfriend as well. I adore him, he makes me so happy and I'm very lucky. We're long distance, but talk often. We've been together for almost two years. I never ignore him to spend time with the man in my mind, but it's easy to imagine the character with me more often since it's an idealized fantasy where there's no repercussions and everything is fluffy and nice all the time.

I've never told anyone that I do this. People know I hyperfixate, but I've never discussed the daydream world(s) in my mind that are just constantly running almost 24/7. Is this normal, or at least not batshit insane?

(woof, sorry for the essay. got a little impasssioned, i guess.)

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 19 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • Gorillaz?

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    • nah lmao, ghost. i do listen to a bit of gorillaz though :P

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  • why not zoidberg?

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  • Normal.

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  • HAHAHAHAH, you deleted it. Pathetic and.............. I own you

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    • nah, you're just a weirdo. i have full discretion to hide whatever comments i want and i wanted the discussion here to be productive because i asked a real question looking for real responses. anyways, have fun with your superiority complex, i'm not gonna respond to anything else from you :)

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  • It is not real unusual for people to have these kinds of scenarios going on in their minds. There are even songs, shows, and movies about it.

    I think this is a fantasy that some people of whatever age have but are too embarrassed to talk about it.

    Some say things like, "Focus on reality" but if reality didn't mostly suck, fantasy would not be necessary.

    About the boyfriend - if it is long distance, there probably isn't much substance. You gotta have something to fill the void.

    Also don't forget that in most peoples' fantasies, everything IS the ideal version. The restraints of reality do not get in the way. If someone's fantasy is limited to what reality would have to say, their imagination is pretty dull.

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    • thank you! like i said in another comment, i've been daydreaming most of the day for pretty much as long as i can remember, yeah.

      and you're right about being long distance- it's hard not having him close to me physically, and imagining that my real boyfriend is with me just makes me sad that we can't be together at the moment, so its a bit easier to stick to over the top fantasies that make me happy & keep me going through the day instead of dwelling on things that could theoretically happen but are impossible for us currently.

      and that's true too, why would anyone fantasize about mundane things :P

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  • A wild imagination is very common.

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    • thank you! especially considering my brain is already wired pretty differently than "normal", i've always had an imagination/daydreams to this degree of 'realism' for as long as i can remember, pretty much.

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      • Just make sure you keep yourself in the real world, you can easily get lost and start mixing the two.

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        • i do my best, thank you :")

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  • Nah, I would say pretty normal in this senario.

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  • It's not really normal. You should concentrate on your real boyfriend.

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    • the thing is, like i said, i never ignore him. we have a really happy and fulfilling relationship that'd i'd never dream of jeopardizing so i could daydream about someone in my head. the two things are completely separate. i guess a key thing i failed to mention is that in one way or another, i'll always be daydreaming- if it's not about this scenario then it'll be about another. i'm very in my head most of the time.

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  • Not really.

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