Is it normal to constantly try be something you are not?

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My whole life I have constantly tried to give maximum effort when I am around other people. This includes everybody, family, friends, girlfriends etc. By maximum effort I mean trying to be really sociable, funny, smart, attractive, smooth etc, just an all round amazing person. I think about my personality everyday and I am always trying to improve upon it by observing other people's personalities and correcting my own, which I believe to be, flaws. A big part of the reason why I do this is because I have this attitude that life is a competition. I've never felt that being my natural self constantly would get me anywhere because there are just too many requirements for me to meet in life. These requirements being, social acceptance, career success, relationship goals etc. I do believe this is attributed to my ambitious nature aswell. I just want to ask you guys if you think being myself would allow me to meet my requirements for a good life because living this life is so difficult to maintain.

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Based on 8 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Justtrynaunderstandmymind
    4 years ago

    Thank you for the comments guys!! Really helpful when having many perspectives.

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  • XYXY
    4 years ago

    Just be yourself, stop living your life through other people’s ideals. There is only one guarantee in life, and that is, at the end of it all, you will be dead. Eventually, everyone who ever knew you will also be dead, once that happens it will be as though you never ever even existed in the first place. So who gives a fuck how you live your life! Just do it the way you want if you can. Choose your lifestyle for you, and if it doesn’t meet other people’s expectations who gives a fuck.

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  • MrMercury24
    4 years ago

    I am exactly the same way tbh. But for me it's a self improvement thing, where I feel that I can never really be happy with myself and am constantly giving the maximum effort in order to try and prove something to myself and everyone around me. I feel like I need to be the best at everything because anything less makes me worthless. I need to know everything because not knowing something and being proven wrong is the ultimate insult. I guess I'm driven by self-hatred.

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  • ellnell
    4 years ago

    I always have to do that. Socializing doesn't come naturally for me, i'm not comfortable in those situations and I don't care about small talk either so whenever i'm at work for example i'm being someone i'm not. So yeah to me that's pretty normal.

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  • Nikclaire
    4 years ago

    Life isn't actually a competition. The only prize at the end is a 6ft grave if you are lucky.

    Better off just striving for personal happiness than to try to live up to an expectation, finish ahead or please people.

    For me simpler is always better and your post confirms that as it seems you are ultimately unhappy or unfulfilled in some way.

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