Is it normal to cant flirt as a female adult

I am a woman who cannot flirt. I am not comfortable with it nor do I understand the concept. I like to get close to someone I like through discussion of important topics. Intelligence is attractive.
I do not want to die alone and I am getting very old because I am in my mid 20s now and soon i'll be forced to bear a child before i'm too old which means if I don't find my future husband soon i'll have to have a child with him very fast and I want my husband to myself for multiple years.
I am texting a guy who does not live near me and he is going to visit me again. It is hard because we are shy and neither of us are capable of a conversation. I am, with the right people, but it always turns out the right people are the wrong people because those I connect best with intellectually are never compatible with me in romance so I need to start dating guys I have no spark with conversation-wise hence I am trying to hold on to this guy even though all we do is small talk which is insanely boring and the conversations die quickly but he is honest and kind which most guys in the dating pool aren't and those who are whom I have met so far have only been friendship material. He is also very flirty in text or tries to be. So its either flirting or small talk with him, the two things which I understand the least. I tried to reply to his what I believe was flirty earlier and his response to my response showed that I did not provide the correct reply. I do not know how I did not but I was probably not flirty even though I used a emoji face with hearts like he has so I am doing that as well now to blend in. The conversation died after my reply.
I feel stressed. Most of all I just want a platonic male friend whom I am attracted to and he is attracted to me but we are friends for as long as possible just sharing interesting conversation and getting to know each other. Then we can take it to the next level.