Is it normal to be only sexually attracted to men and only emotionally to girls

82% Normal
30 Comments

I'm a 19 year old girl. Since puberty I knew that I had feelings for girls, many girls. However I almost never find myself sexually attracted to girls. I have fantasized about sex with two girls before, and it was ok. When it comes to men, I am very sexually attracted them. However, there is almost never any emotional attraction to them. I don't have crushes on men like I have on girls, and can only imagine myself dating a girl. When I see an attractive girl I shut down and get nervous, but when I see an attractive guy I can flirt so easily without any nerves. Here's the catch: I do have one experience with emotional attraction to men. I was in love ONCE with a man, and we have been broken up officially for about a year. I might even still love him. I'm so confused! Is it normal? Can anyone else relate?

Voting Results
82% Normal
Based on 118 votes (97 yes)
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Comments ( 30 )
  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    So while you are banging a guy talk to a girl.

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    • soconfused1423
      11 years ago

      It is a brilliant idea, but I have tried this before. It ends up the same: the girl is hurt because I won't want to have sex with them and the guy is hurt because he becomes emotionally attached. So confusing!

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      • Terence_the_viking
        11 years ago

        You are going about it the wrong way.

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    • 1000yrVampireKing
      11 years ago

      Brilliant!

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  • shade_ilmaendu
    11 years ago

    It's normal, sexuality is far more fluid than many people give it credit for. I'm sexually and emotionally attracted to men, but I am much more emotionally than sexually attracted to women. There's just some kind of feeling I get from being with men, and the feeling with a woman is different.

    I've known people who are totally pansexual, people who are asexual but can still love. I knew an asexual guy on secondlife who was into vore fetish, rather than normal sex. There are people out there who are sexually or emotionally attracted to objects. I know I'm getting into some weird examples here, but I'm doing it to show you how normal you really are, and just how varied human sexuality can really be.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Sexuality is far less fluid than many "attention seekers" give it credit for.

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  • SangoNyappy
    11 years ago

    I'm complete oposite. I'm emotionally attracted to men but I usually please myself while watching lesbian porn.

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    • BeautyBodyBrains
      11 years ago

      Me too! But I wouldn't even look at another female if they are not having sex. I guess I just like various porn lol.

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  • Short4Words
    11 years ago

    I can. I won't say if I was ever truly in love because I just don't know, or if this has anything to do with the feelings I felt. But there was a moment in my life, where I was thinking more about guys than girls. I think it stemmed from me thinking of myself as an inadequate man, I kept thinking I wasn't man enough meaning good enough to me. So I started thinking I'd be better of with a man, they're more charming and forward for the most part, but I knew deep down I wasn't sexually attracted to them and I never went through with it. Maybe you just haven't met the right type of guys, except your ex, and maybe you shouldn't give up on him.

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    • soconfused1423
      11 years ago

      This is really good input. Thank you. I have wondered this myself before, because its not like I have never had feelings for men. Maybe I really just haven't met the right one yet. But still, the ratio of girls that I've liked to guys that I've liked is basically 10:1

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  • elowen
    11 years ago

    Men suck so this doesn't surprise me. I often think I would be a lesbian if I could deal with not having dick for the rest of my life.

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    • kr24
      11 years ago

      You're one dick craving slut, aren't you?

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    • PumpkinKate
      11 years ago

      Intersex & Transgender girls need lovin' too :P

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    • IronHead
      11 years ago

      Strap-ons are your friend.

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  • FireStone
    11 years ago

    I am sort of the opposite. I am VERY sexually attracted to females, would have sex with a female based solely on her looks, not so much emotionally, their personalities annoy me sometimes and I find it hard to get close to them emotionally, but with men, I am VERY emotionally attracted to them and even if I do not find them physically attractive will have sex with a man I find mentally/emotionally attractive.
    I am female, by the way (in case you were wondering!)

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    • peterr
      10 years ago

      You sound wonderful!

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    no i can't relate sorry

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  • LesserKnownCharacter
    11 years ago

    I'm a bi guy and I'm the same. I don't want a relationship with a guy, only sex. But I DO enjoy full sexual and romantic/normal relationships with women.

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    • peterr
      10 years ago

      Well you can suck my 7 inch cut cock if you want!

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    • What'sMyName?
      11 years ago

      You are me.

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      • [Old Memory]
        11 years ago

        ?-its paranoid

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  • loldude
    11 years ago

    wow...wow i have never heard that..... just,.... WOW

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    LOL Well, guys are more sexual. And well... Girls are more emotional and understanding. Sterreeoo tyyppesss woops. Maybe that's what your subconciously thinking though? I see this emotional and physical attraction post all the time, and it's usually physical attraction to men with emotional attachment to women. Mayeb there's a connection, maybe there's not.

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  • PumpkinKate
    11 years ago

    I'm pretty much the same way, but I've been so for a longer amount of time. It hasn't really become any more clear, but I do think it's worth taking risks - dating either gender, if it feels right. I've done so and while I may not have any more clear of an idea of what gender I prefer, I've had a handful of really great relationships (and fortunately I'm still on good terms with almost all of them). Fortune favors the bold, my dear!

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    • soconfused1423
      11 years ago

      Thank you! If I may ask, just out of curiosity, how long have you been feeling this way?

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      • PumpkinKate
        11 years ago

        Pretty much since I was around 15-16. I used to be convinced I was a lesbian when I was 21 I started dating guys as well. I guess I go with the "neither is better or worse, they're just different"

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        • soconfused1423
          11 years ago

          I see. I hope it works out for you!

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          • PumpkinKate
            11 years ago

            Thanks ^_^ I think with as many different kinds of people there are out there, finding someone compatible is an inevitability.

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            • peterr
              10 years ago

              Well you can suck me off for starters and then we will talk. I can bring a woman if you want but once we start fucking you will be begging me not to stop you won't be thinking about cunt I assure you...Love, Peterr

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  • fullhouse
    11 years ago

    May be you should not label yourself yet.. See how things fo and whay floats your boat. Don't be nervous, jusrlt do what sounds right

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