Is it normal to abandon a friendship if

53% Normal
5 Comments

... if you are the only one putting in effort to keep in touch and meet up?
She clearly enjoys the time we spend and says she cares about me but she never texts me to ask how I am doing or arranges our meet-ups. I am always the one doing that. And she is always 'busy' and makes promise after promise to make time for me that she doesn't keep. I have started telling her that I don't want her to feel obligated, or like I am pestering her. She always says 'No, no, no - I love our meet-ups and all the little things you send me!' and assures me that she appreciates me. But nothing ever changes. If I didn't keep contacting her first, we would completely lose touch.

I keep telling myself that it's the final straw and that this friendship is too emotionally exhausting to maintain. But then I see her and I know she cares. We have a special bond. Would it be normal to abandon this friendship?

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 17 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • [Old Memory]
    4 years ago | pl

    Stop contacting her. See if, after a while, she gets in touch with you and asks where you are. If not, move on and find another friend who's not so much effort to keep around.

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  • UselessTrash2
    4 years ago

    I don't know if it's normal but I used to try and keep friendships like that, but eventually I started to distance myself and my emotions from everyone I met so that I wouldn't get hurt if they left or forgot about me. For me I know everyone will eventually leave because I'm quite a handful mentally and emotionally, so no one really wants to put up with me, which is understandable. I feel like the only kind of person that wouldn't leave me is someone that's as much of mess as me and also doesn't have anyone else to put up with them. However it seems I'm a bit alone in that (at least compared to almost all people I meet/know).
    Sorry I ranted for a bit, just needed somewhere to vent.

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    • Bitmap
      4 years ago

      Wow

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  • GordaLicious3
    4 years ago

    She could just genuinely be super busy. I’m sure you know what she does for a living and what’s up in her life from social media to gauge that. You would know if she wasn’t into the friendship and if you feel that connection then trust that it’s real and that she’s not intentionally hurting your feelings. I’ve been both people in this scenario. If the friendship means a lot to you, you don’t have to abandon it, just give it some space and see if she reaches out. Whether she does or doesn’t should tell you it’s worth it to maintain.

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  • dimwitted
    4 years ago

    Stop being used. If she wants to maintain contact then let her put the effort forth.

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