Is it normal that you sometimes get so hurt that you end up feeling nothing?

86% Normal
5 Comments

Yeah ANOTHER one of those bf/gf stories. But I need to get it out there, you know?I KNOW it's long but please read and if you have questions just ask in the comment-area.

'In short';
Long distance relationship is hard and we spend 1 month together this summer and its been 3 weeks since we saw each other. Since that day my boyfriend told me that he had been so miserable cause he missed me too much. It should also be told that he has Bipolar disorder and he has a lot to deal with. Its 'new' that he got that illness. Oh btw I am 20 and he is 25

He told me a couple of days ago that I shouldn't worry about losing him, that it wouldn't happen. Then yesterday he calls me in his lunchbreak and tells me he is sorry for the last days or two where he had been completely quiet. I start to feel a lot better, then when he comes home we talk and talk and everything is good. Then *BAM* out of the blue he says he isn't sure he can do this anymore.......

It was like my heart just stopped. I mean I know he had been miserable but he had just reassured me that he wouldn't leave/quit 'us'. I tried to keep my head together and talk about it rationally but he had made up his mind and he couldn't really say the final goodbye. So we sit and talk for an hour approximately and then whilst we both are crying I say I have to go cause well, I couldn't sit there and just know its over and talk to him. But I told him that I wouldn't want to lose him completely that I want us to somehow be friend and that I just need time to process this. Im really trying to be more rational about it :(

Then accepting that its over is SO hard to do. And im sure some of you are going to write "get over it" but its easier said than done. And NOW I just feel nothing.. Im just so empty.

Should I keep hoping he might change his mind?

Is it normal that all the hurt and pain turn into emptiness?

Is It Normal?
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 5 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • follow_me_down
    13 years ago | pl

    I am not feeling what you are feeling, but I can imagine it is very hard and I send my heart out to you for having to deal with the pain.

    Of course what you are feeling is normal. Its rejection and all of the feelings that you stated are coming in all at once and you will feel numb.

    While I wish for happy endings like everyone does, the truth is the world is mean, and you can't rely on him to change his mind. You have to forget about him and be selfish for once. Concentrate on dealing with what you are feeling. Have a good cry, talk with friends, but try not to go back to him.

    While I'm happy to hear that atleast you were rational and the relationship didnt end on very sour terms...the guilt and anger will still be there.

    Don't beat yourself up and wonder what you did wrong. This is something he needed to deal with and unfortunately you were just in the middle of his problems. There are steps in mourning, you seem to be in shock. But it will get better.

    This is one of those situations that time can heal the hurt and you will look back on it and realize that it made you into a stronger, braver person.

    I wish you good luck and if you need anything, I can listen.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    2
    2
  • [Old Memory]
    13 years ago | pl

    It is completely normal. To feel that empty. I know that feeling. Tho I felt that way for another reason. Growing up I had no friends and was always made fun of. I'm now 13 and I don't care anymore. I don't care what others say or even when something bad happens. If I were to die it would be a pleasure. The people of today at my age are horrible. They all care about popularity. I imagine this is similar to how you are feeling.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    1
    1
  • Sugarcoateddoll
    13 years ago | pl

    xoxo29, yes I have thought about that. I do worry that he did it just because of the illness, bipolar disporder. So yeah..... But if i think/worry to much about that he might not mean it, it hurts too.

    Im just trying to accept it but im really sad.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • xoxo29
    13 years ago | pl

    I'm not trying to be rude, but didn't you say that he is bipolar? Maybe he's just feeling down in the dumps about not seeing you and doesn't know how to deal with it. You'll be fine. Time heals all wounds.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0
  • Sugarcoateddoll
    13 years ago | pl

    Thank you so much. That was some really kind words, and you know I might take you up on that. Its sometimes nice to chat to someone about issues that can sometimes be so personal that its hard to tell all of it to your friends. Often it can be easier to tell a complete stranger.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    Report
    0
    0