Is it normal that my wife doesn't use soap when she showers?

Since we've been married, my wife rarely if ever uses soap or even body wash when she showers. She also rarely shampoos her hair more than once a week. Her rationale for not using soap in the shower is when she rinses the shampoo from her hair, the suds running off her body will clean her skin. I think this is total BS.

Seriously, her idea of a "shower" is literally just standing under the shower head for like 10-15 minutes. She doesn't lather, scrub or anything. Just stands there.

She claims the reason she doesn't use soap or body wash regularly is because she has skin problems, which is true. But I'm wondering if her skin problems are because she DOESN'T clean her skin regularly.

I've bought her hypo-allergenic body wash, which she's barely touched. I keep dropping huge hints I'd like her to take her personal hygiene a little more seriously. Honestly, we've had some intimacy issues, which is a much more involved topic on many levels, but her hygiene habits (or lack thereof) are a factor, whether she wants to accept it or not.

I love her, but this is something that has to change. Is it wrong for me to feel this strongly about it?

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Comments ( 21 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • If I met a guy like that it would probably be a deal breaker.

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  • Gross. I feel unclean if I don't use soap when I shower or bathe.

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  • Washing hair once a week is fine for a lot of people. I do this. My hair is never greasy or smelly. If I wash it more than once a week it gets dry and goes a bit frizzy.

    The no soap thing is different though... definitely not normal. I would just be direct and say that you don't want to have sex with someone who hasn't washed properly. This isn't an unreasonable request. You've tried hinting and it hasn't worked so it's time to be blunt.

    If she continues to blather on about skin conditions then she needs to find solutions. For example - psoriasis? Eczema? Use an emollient instead of soap for every 2nd wash. You can buy them over the counter or get a prescription from your doctor. Body acne? Medicated body wash. Again you can get some over the counter but others will need a prescription. Unless she has some incredibly rare and strange medical problem then there is no reason for her to just wash with plain water.

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  • It's not normal, but I like it. I love smelly armpits.

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    • I would say we are entering fetish areas here.
      Don't know if it hard to imagine, but for the rest of us, its just instinctively repelling.

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    • Smelly feet are better in my opinion. I love the scents unchanged socks, and oddly enough a little blood on the socks is sexy to me.

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  • So sounds like you got a keeper

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  • just be upfront, but kind about it. make sure she understands its not a targeted attack, but a rule of thumb for every member of society, and that includes her.

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  • Take bathes together.

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  • troll or fetish post, but that's kinda hot. maybe you could try washing her yourself

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  • i mean she may aswell just spend an hour outside when its raining then

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  • Sometimes I will just spread the shampoo from head to pits, junk, then ass then bottom of feet then rinse. I often shower multiple times a day though, I live bye the beach and exercise a lot. ATLEAST every other day I scrub everything with a body wash or soap.

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  • My boyfriend does this. He doesn't smell or anything, and it certainly saves money on soap, but it's a little weird I must admit. Maybe buy her a loofah? They come in all sorts of fun colors and make it really easy to wash your body quickly.

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  • Germ fetish?

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  • https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l3S_ZxHdhho

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    • Oh, dude man, that's like music for tweakers.

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      • That's why I knew you would like it, JK

        Has a catchy ring to it "my kind of bitch don't fix her hair, she don't care about what she wears"

        C'mon ROOOOOSE, this song should be the theme, song for this post!

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  • Are you hinting that she's smelly as a result of not using soap? If so, have you told her about it?

    Washing her hair only once a week is normal unless she has very oily hair: that used to be the norm until the shampoo & conditioner manufacturers convinced people it had to be more often, in some cases daily, which is ridiculous.

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