Is it normal that my personality changed dramatically? (length warning)
I used to be the loud, obnoxious, extroverted class clown. I would never stop talking in class, and felt the need to give a running commentary on just about everything the class was doing, whether my audience was laughing or not. When I wanted to impress whatever clique I was currently clinging onto, I would fabricate ridiculous stories about my exploits that they would just end up laughing at me for. When I was with a girl I liked, I would say the most inappropriate and nonsensical things, and she would invariably pounce on the opportunity to inform me of how much of a loser I was. I would get into fights, even physical fights, over the most trivial matters. These traits have plagued me for my entire life, until about my last year of high school.
I have never been able to figure out why I was like this, and to this day I still occasionally stay awake at night for hours, my body hot with shame, remembering the embarrassing situations I frequently got myself into.
Towards the end of high school, I suddenly became aware that I had no social skills, and would never be a well-liked person. For some reason, it didn't bother me that much. I actually felt a kind of relief, as though the solution to an ongoing problem had finally been revealed to me.
I underwent some drastic and completely involuntary changes in personality. I became extremely withdrawn. Not shy, just introverted. The rare times I spoke, I spoke my mind, (however strange my thoughts) instead of what I thought would impress people. I could actually be incredibly bold in regards to defending unpopular opinions by my lonesome in class debates, etc., something that I could never do before. I have the reputation among my coworkers of being a "mysterious" person. Even my face changed. It became gaunt, with brooding eyes. It feels strange when I look at my face in the mirror, and then at a picture of me from even just a few years ago. People frequently remark that I need to smile more.
I currently have not a single person in my life who could by anyone's definition be called a close friend. I have not kept in contact with a single person I knew from school since graduating a few years ago. I have never had a girlfriend. I spend every waking minute of my free time alone, yet I have never felt lonely.
What has recently interested me is learning that I have every single symptom of "schizoid PD" to the extreme (not that I view psychological classifications as being scientifically valid).
Has anyone else underwent similar changes around the turn of adulthood? A sincere thanks to all those who read my whole story.