It is obvious to me that you are being haunted. The first step in the next series is to make contact with whatever being came to you. To innitiate this you must purchase coloured crayons, a napkin and some salt. Sprinkle the salt over the napkin and ask it some questions with the crayon. Don't be worried if it is aprehensive at first, this is your first time meeting and that will only be natural. Start off with simple questions like, "What is your name?", "Do you have a favourite colour?" before moving onto more personal questions like, "Would you rather masturbate with sandpaper or take a cactus up your chuff?".Don't worry if the spirit doesn't write back. It's just thinking.
Repeat this process for a couple of days and the spirit should appear to you. It will most likely take the form of either Mitt Romeny (Go figure) or a sink cleaning product.
Before you iniate full contact first stock up on cough syrup and nasal sprays. Proceed to stay up late into the night consuming these until your eyes redden. This means the spirit is now aware of your presence. Sit down in a darkened room with both your legs over your head and start to talk. The spirit should aparate.
Now this is the important part. Things can only go two ways from here. Either you can be Miss Goody Two Shoes and not put out until later on in your relationship or you can take it to the next level with Mr Ghosty over here. If you choose the latter option (Slut) then you should wake up in the near distant future, naked, dazed with a traffic cone attatched to both your nipples and in a county jail.
After following these string of events please don't hesitate to contact me for further information if your bed shaking continues to persist.
IIN that my bed started to shake while i was watching exorcism?
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It is obvious to me that you are being haunted. The first step in the next series is to make contact with whatever being came to you. To innitiate this you must purchase coloured crayons, a napkin and some salt. Sprinkle the salt over the napkin and ask it some questions with the crayon. Don't be worried if it is aprehensive at first, this is your first time meeting and that will only be natural. Start off with simple questions like, "What is your name?", "Do you have a favourite colour?" before moving onto more personal questions like, "Would you rather masturbate with sandpaper or take a cactus up your chuff?".Don't worry if the spirit doesn't write back. It's just thinking.
Repeat this process for a couple of days and the spirit should appear to you. It will most likely take the form of either Mitt Romeny (Go figure) or a sink cleaning product.
Before you iniate full contact first stock up on cough syrup and nasal sprays. Proceed to stay up late into the night consuming these until your eyes redden. This means the spirit is now aware of your presence. Sit down in a darkened room with both your legs over your head and start to talk. The spirit should aparate.
Now this is the important part. Things can only go two ways from here. Either you can be Miss Goody Two Shoes and not put out until later on in your relationship or you can take it to the next level with Mr Ghosty over here. If you choose the latter option (Slut) then you should wake up in the near distant future, naked, dazed with a traffic cone attatched to both your nipples and in a county jail.
After following these string of events please don't hesitate to contact me for further information if your bed shaking continues to persist.
Or you could try not being such a fucking idiot.
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Harvester`
11 years ago
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Ladies and gentlemen we have a winner