Is it normal that mostly awful people befriend me?

The last person I was best friends with turned out to be a pervy stalker who tried to blame it on her mental illness and society. This isn't the first time a woman did this shit to me.

After that it was a friend who refused to respect me and his other friends and he always said and did awful things(property damage, insulting us, stealing things). He blamed his parents and his mental issues for it. This wasnt the first time I knew someone like him too.

Before both of those people it was a group of people who were always talking crap about black people and straight people. Any kind of counterpoint to their negativity would result in them throwing a tantrum. Once again they blamed other factors instead of themselves. It wasn't the first time I accidentally befriended racist people.

All these friendships start off great with no issues. It's like they hide their crazyness and suddenly bring it out once they think a person likes them.

I'm a 30 year old female if this helps. I'm probably going to just start ending friendships the second I see them act crazy.

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40% Normal
Based on 5 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • raisinbran

    People are generally terrible, especially in groups. Try to make friends with loners or people who are not part of a group.

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  • Boojum

    I desperately try to cling to the belief that the majority of people are fundamentally decent, but even if three-quarters of people are indeed that, the remaining quarter of the population contains some real wingnuts and utter shitheads. Unfortunately, it's the truly ignorant arsewipes who are generally shouting the loudest and they're also the ones that stick in our minds.

    My philosophy is to assume the best of people when I first meet them, but at the first unambiguous sign that they're actually an ignorant, obnoxious twat, I detach without a second thought. As the saying goes, when someone shows you who they are, believe them. And, yeah, it's pretty normal for people to conceal their true nature at first. Even total psychos usually have sufficient social-awareness to understand that coming on gangbusters with full-disclosure honesty right from the start is likely to frighten people off.

    You've clearly had a few unpleasant experiences, but I seriously doubt if you've ever met even one millionth of the world's population, and I'm also certain that your approach to life is not unique, so you can be sure that there are people out there that you'd be able to form solid friendships with.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Take your time when getting to know people, and beware of people who want to be your best friend, and or get really close to you too soon.

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    • raisinbran

      Always suspect someone who makes you feel good about yourself, is my motto.

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      • RoseIsabella

        Like people who fawn over you, and love bomb you?

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        • raisinbran

          Yeah, certain personality types.

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          • RoseIsabella

            Those are the sort of people who seek to manipulate others.

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  • ellnell

    Yeah I tend to attract troubled people. Not to that degree though. I think if you're a decently calm, down to earth person troubled people recognize this and wants you to "fix them" or believe that they can use you because you're a nice, or even naive, person. That said we also tend to attract people on the same wavelength as ourselves but I don't know you. Working on oneself is always a good thing though and don't be TOO nice to people, it's a good idea to drop someone as soon as they start acting problematic. Set boundries for yourself from the very start. You'll notice that those with ill intensions won't like the fact that you have boundries whereas those who genuienly like and want to be your friend will respect your boundries and never try to manipulate you to do or accept things you aren't comfortable with.

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  • have_a_good_day

    You a good nigga, we can respect that in da hood.
    Ain't nobody got time to be around these hurtful and narrow minded creatures no mo.
    We have da choice of wanting to rise above the hate, rise above da hurt. When more niggas and hoes evolve past this point all the others who refuse to join will slowly die out and we can all finally be one in body, mind, and spirit.
    Fahreal. That's what's up

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  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan

    I feel you, all my "friends" are pretty shitty. I dont hang out with them anymore for that reason. They got me in legal trouble a few times. The last straw was when I got jumped at a party and my best buddy allegedly stood there and watched.

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  • Somenormie

    If they've got a highly bad personality you should avoid them at all costs. There's going to be people out there who you shouldn't associate them with.

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  • bigbudchonga

    Hi, this is terrible. Do you want to be my friend and talk about it with me? Also, what do your shoes smell like?

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  • orangesandapples2

    I agree with mostly what everyone else has said. People as a whole are just selfish and it’s not hard to come across those people. I would just cut those people off and recognize signs of people that don’t have values that align with yours.

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  • ArrestThisMan

    Keyword being 'befriend', I'd say. The real ones take a mutual effort. Otherwise they're a bit like mosquitos, sucking away at the soul of whoever doesn't swat'em down fast enough.

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