Is it normal that i think that asexuality is mostly advantageous?

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Asexuality has 2 main disadvantages, being misunderstood by 99% of the population and having a hard time finding a patient partner. However, I think that the advantages are far greater in a way. Among them, I can mention:

- Being completely immune to sexualized advertisement, films, songs, etc.
- People that use their body to get what they want cannot manipulate asexual people
- It is easier to judge people from an objective point of view
- In a relationship, sex cannot be used as a currency
- In conflicts with one's partner, communication is used instead of sex to solve the issues
- A lot of drama is avoided
- Cheating is almost entirely out of one's life
- Relationships are always based on profound things, like personality and shared interests, and not on superficial matters
- Saving money and time by avoiding activities that revolve around sex (clubbing)
- When an asexuals has sex, they are always selfless lovers
- There is a significantly lower risk to contract venereal diseases
- One can plan their lives without taking into consideration how much sex will certain decisions grant
- There are no temptations to hook up with people at work
- If a professor is extremely attractive, one can still concentrate in class

So well, this is what I can think of at the moment. So, what do you think people? Is asexuality a curse or a bliss?

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  • dom180
    8 years ago | pl

    Asexuality is great, but you don't have to be asexual to have most of those things. For example, I can still choose to base my relationships around "profound things" (although I wouldn't say shared interests are that profound. A shared interest can still be superficial.). I can avoid relationships where sex is used as "currency" - speaking as someone who does have sexual attraction, the idea of using sex that way is gross. Some of them aren't even advantages: what's so advantageous about not liking songs and films about sex? I could talk about each of your points individually, but that would take a lot of time. My main point is that just because you feel sexual attraction, doesn't mean you rescind self-control. You can absolutely feel sexual attraction, and even have a high sex drive, without turning into a mindless, sex-obsessed drone. It seems to me that you're really talking about are advantages to being sexually enlightened or liberated or empowered or mature enough to have self-control and see sex for what it is: an important but small part of the human experience. I agree that a lot of people don't have that healthy view of sex, and asexuality can be a shortcut to getting to that point. My point is that you don't have to be asexual to have those cool bonuses.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago | pl

      I should have said in most points then "more likely". Nevertheless, I believe you if you say that you are not controlled by sex and that anyone can reach "enlightenment" as you mentioned it... but in my personal experience (in the real world and in this site as well), I notice that the vast majority of people do give sex a disproportional priority.

      About the interests thing, yes, one shared interest is superficial, but sharing multiple interests and being open to learn from one another is one of the corner stones of great solid relationships (trust me, couple-therapist-girlfriend).

      And I never said asexual people would dislike movies or songs about sex, I said that they would be immune to them, thus, judging them from an objective point of view. Personally, I like Nicki Minaj for her eccentric style, rather than for her over-sized ass.

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      • dom180
        8 years ago | pl

        I think that could all change if people had the right sort of sex education. Sex in society is given this strange mystique, a veneer of "specialness". I believe realistic sex education can work wonders to break down the mythology surrounding sex :)

        I feel like profound interests lead to profound connections, but superficial interests lead to superficial connections. I see what you mean about the interests now though. I think seeing beauty and wonder in the same places is important, maybe the most important thing, and I suppose interests can be a part of that or another way of saying that :)

        Btw, I like Nicki Minaj for the same reasons you do. I like her attitude.

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  • ArmusWasTheFirstTroll
    8 years ago | pl

    I am not asexual and I found every one of those points true about myself. Would it not be accurate to say, "what I find most advantageous is being a prudent, considerate, and objective human being."

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    • Gspyder
      8 years ago | pl

      I know, right. This list seems to assume the rest of us are driven singularly by the need for sex.

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  • pastor_of_muppets
    8 years ago | pl

    I am abstinent and all those points apply to me

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  • Shrunk
    8 years ago | pl

    Pretty much all those can apply to people who are abstinent, have low sex drive, or are "demisexual", too...

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    • [Old Memory]
      8 years ago | pl

      I'm pretty sure I am demisexual and whatever I am has not been easy. I feel uninterested until I get to know someone but by the time I feel attracted to them they have moved on.

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  • [Old Memory]
    8 years ago | pl

    this is how i see it all the time

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  • PluginBaby
    8 years ago | pl

    It is normal, but unfortunate. Asexuality is largely unknown in this society. While you did mention that you are greatly underestimating its consequences. Being asexual and not knowing that asexuality exists is extremely hard to deal with. I was very unhappy from the ages of 10 (when mine peers first start to mature sexually) to 23 (when I found out about asexuality). You feel like you are the only one who has ever been like you and like there is something wrong with you. This is referred to in the asexual community as feeling "broken" and "alone". This is why asexual awareness is so important, so we can find all of these people who deserve to know the truth.

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    • PluginBaby
      8 years ago | pl

      While the list of advantages you mention is not inaccurate, you are underestimating the problems asexual people face. Before I knew about asexuality I really did think I was cursed. Not having many asexual people around to socialize with and potentially date can be very lonely. Society views towards us can be very difficult to deal with. This society is very sexual, when sex is sort "thrown in my face" the only way I can conceptualize it is by think about me being asexual. I am constantly reminded that I am different from most people and largely unknown and misunderstood. This also perpetuates the lie that every healthy person needs or needs to want sex to be happy. That lie is what makes us feel so isolated and broken before we learn the truth, I still wish I could get those 13 years back.

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  • Gspyder
    8 years ago | pl

    There's a good line in Game of Thrones by a eunic where he talks about how he is glad to be free of desire because he sees the chaos that desire causes, and states that it frees him up to pursue other interests, then motions to the throne.

    I don't completely agree though, as I am in a relationship in which I feel no threat of infidelity and enjoy feeling like we satisfy each other, rather than one just taking care of the other. But that's me personally, i do see your point.

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  • KeddersPrincess
    8 years ago | pl

    A bliss.

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