I'm all for honesty. Obviously this guy likes you a lot, because (no offence) you're obviously carrying emotional baggage here and he is still sticking around. Before things get heated, just explain what the problem is (that you were raped), and that you want to be the one in control of the situation. Then proceed at a pace you are comfortable with - nice long foreplay, and then have him on the bottom and you on top (to help break the mental connection to the past). Hopefully after a few times you will learn that sex doesn't have to be a traumatic experience.
If that fails, get professional help - because it's going to be a problem in any relationship.
IIN that I'm in a relationship but haven't had sex
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I'm all for honesty. Obviously this guy likes you a lot, because (no offence) you're obviously carrying emotional baggage here and he is still sticking around. Before things get heated, just explain what the problem is (that you were raped), and that you want to be the one in control of the situation. Then proceed at a pace you are comfortable with - nice long foreplay, and then have him on the bottom and you on top (to help break the mental connection to the past). Hopefully after a few times you will learn that sex doesn't have to be a traumatic experience.
If that fails, get professional help - because it's going to be a problem in any relationship.