There's no law that guys have to like them, and it's definitely the case that the overall situation, the personal chemistry and the woman's skills means all blowjobs are not the same.
I can see how you might find it a slightly awkward thing to handle, but there's nothing wrong with you telling a girl that you're just not into one particular sexual activity or another. If you make it clear that it's not just about her in particular and if she has any sense at all, she should understand and accept that.
Having said that, you might want to spend some time thinking about why you're unable to relax and enjoy oral sex. If you don't enjoy foreplay of any sort and you're intensely focused on getting to PIV sex as soon as possible, that doesn't really bode well for how much the women you're with will enjoy the experience. If it's about you not being in control, then maybe you need to give some thought to the nature of the relationship you have with the women you have sex with, and whether you have wider trust issues. At the darker end, I can see how guys with really twisted attitudes concerning the power-dynamics between them and women in general would also hate surrendering control of their penis to a woman.
Or maybe it's deeply Freudian, and it's all about the teeth and a subconscious fear of being emasculated. Unless a woman has had some very weird dental work done to make her teeth razor-sharp, it's highly unlikely that could ever happen, but some fears don't make any rational sense.
For what it's worth, I've always enjoyed receiving fellatio, but I've never been into coming in a woman's mouth, and it has always been a struggle for me to do so when a woman wants that. That's mainly because I've always found PIV sex much more enjoyable because of the face-to-face connection, the whole-body skin-on-skin contact, and the sensations of snug warmth around the whole length of my penis.
It's not about not liking any form of foreplay, I'd just want to do other activities during foreplay, mainly concentrating on turning the woman on, rather than myself.
I'm much more likely to sustain an erection after giving a girl a sexual massage, for instance, than after being sucked off. Furthermore, I also think kinky fetish play should always be carried out during foreplay to set the mood.
Blowjobs do honestly cause me to have a deep-rooted fear and the main reason for that is that my foreskin is still attached. In porn, you always see girls depicted twisting and pulling a guy's shaft while sucking him off, and that looks to me as it would injure me really badly.
Your concern seems sensible to me, particularly since so many young people these days seem to assume that everything they see in porn is how sex should - or must - be, rather than it being no more realistic than any other form of entertainment.
Some guys do like their dick to be treated really roughly. That's fine if it's what they want, but it's not my cup of tea. Some guys even get off on a lot of teeth-scraping, but I really, really dislike that too.
For what it's worth, I've never experienced a woman treating my penis in the way you describe during a blowjob. If one ever had, I would have let her know it wasn't what I liked in very clear terms. But I'm of a generation which learned most of their sexual techniques by trial and error, while the age group of the women you're having sex with probably learned about sex from porn or from having sex with guys whose tastes and preferences were heavily influenced by porn.
What you allow a woman to do with your body is obviously entirely up to you, and you definitely have as much right as her to express your preferences clearly. However, I would suggest that you might try to get over making it a hard and fast rule that any oral contact with your penis is strictly forbidden. If you're with a woman who has oral skills and she's the sort of person who pays close attention to how you react to the things she does, you might find that simply saying, "Very gently, please," could be enough for you to get past your inhibitions and enjoy it.
IIN that I'm a guy who hates blowjobs
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There's no law that guys have to like them, and it's definitely the case that the overall situation, the personal chemistry and the woman's skills means all blowjobs are not the same.
I can see how you might find it a slightly awkward thing to handle, but there's nothing wrong with you telling a girl that you're just not into one particular sexual activity or another. If you make it clear that it's not just about her in particular and if she has any sense at all, she should understand and accept that.
Having said that, you might want to spend some time thinking about why you're unable to relax and enjoy oral sex. If you don't enjoy foreplay of any sort and you're intensely focused on getting to PIV sex as soon as possible, that doesn't really bode well for how much the women you're with will enjoy the experience. If it's about you not being in control, then maybe you need to give some thought to the nature of the relationship you have with the women you have sex with, and whether you have wider trust issues. At the darker end, I can see how guys with really twisted attitudes concerning the power-dynamics between them and women in general would also hate surrendering control of their penis to a woman.
Or maybe it's deeply Freudian, and it's all about the teeth and a subconscious fear of being emasculated. Unless a woman has had some very weird dental work done to make her teeth razor-sharp, it's highly unlikely that could ever happen, but some fears don't make any rational sense.
For what it's worth, I've always enjoyed receiving fellatio, but I've never been into coming in a woman's mouth, and it has always been a struggle for me to do so when a woman wants that. That's mainly because I've always found PIV sex much more enjoyable because of the face-to-face connection, the whole-body skin-on-skin contact, and the sensations of snug warmth around the whole length of my penis.
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EnglishLad
3 years ago
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It's not about not liking any form of foreplay, I'd just want to do other activities during foreplay, mainly concentrating on turning the woman on, rather than myself.
I'm much more likely to sustain an erection after giving a girl a sexual massage, for instance, than after being sucked off. Furthermore, I also think kinky fetish play should always be carried out during foreplay to set the mood.
Blowjobs do honestly cause me to have a deep-rooted fear and the main reason for that is that my foreskin is still attached. In porn, you always see girls depicted twisting and pulling a guy's shaft while sucking him off, and that looks to me as it would injure me really badly.
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Boojum
3 years ago
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Your concern seems sensible to me, particularly since so many young people these days seem to assume that everything they see in porn is how sex should - or must - be, rather than it being no more realistic than any other form of entertainment.
Some guys do like their dick to be treated really roughly. That's fine if it's what they want, but it's not my cup of tea. Some guys even get off on a lot of teeth-scraping, but I really, really dislike that too.
For what it's worth, I've never experienced a woman treating my penis in the way you describe during a blowjob. If one ever had, I would have let her know it wasn't what I liked in very clear terms. But I'm of a generation which learned most of their sexual techniques by trial and error, while the age group of the women you're having sex with probably learned about sex from porn or from having sex with guys whose tastes and preferences were heavily influenced by porn.
What you allow a woman to do with your body is obviously entirely up to you, and you definitely have as much right as her to express your preferences clearly. However, I would suggest that you might try to get over making it a hard and fast rule that any oral contact with your penis is strictly forbidden. If you're with a woman who has oral skills and she's the sort of person who pays close attention to how you react to the things she does, you might find that simply saying, "Very gently, please," could be enough for you to get past your inhibitions and enjoy it.