Is it normal that i left my therapist because of her religious beliefs?

I was with this psychologist for about a year and a half and when I brought the subject up in session she told me about her faith (since it was COGNITIVE BEHAVIORAL THERAPY it was not abnormal for her to mention it). What I said, speaking about feeling hopeless sometimes, is that I didn't even have a religion to "save me", to keep things in perspective like others, believers, do.

It put me off, as if she would NEVER be able to understand me because I don't have any belief in gods or supreme deities.

Is It Normal?
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  • I've never been in therapy, but your decision seems reasonable to me. If you believe the person you're talking to is incapable of understanding the world from your perspective, that has to damage the feeling of trust and confidence you need to have in your therapist.

    Whether your judgement is correct or not is irrelevant. You feel how you feel about her, and and you're there to sort out larger issues.

    I suppose the only question you need to be sure about is if you _really_ stopped seeing her for this reason, or if it's a justification because she was starting to get to the nub of your issues and into difficult areas you avoid dealing with.

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    • That is a great point but for sure it was not the case and I wish it had been, though! It'd mean it was actually working... hehe. I was already feeling we were skidding and going nowhere. Then that. Plus, therapy is expensive!!!

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  • The way you wrote it sort of sounded like her religion was CBT.

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    • I agree, it sort of did but you obviously understood what I meant, right?

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  • It was inappropriate of her. A psychologist's personal belief system has nothing to do with their client.

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    • I was glad, though. It made me realize she would NEVER be able to help me. At least I think so.

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      • I'm sorry. I hope you can find someone who can. It's hard to find the right person, sometimes.

        I've been to four psychologists through my life. I was lucky that the last three were good matches. The middle of the three was by far the best match, though. I kinda wish I was still seeing her right now.

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        • I'm assuming you can't see her because you left her behind in the other town. Many nowadays Skype! Just a thought. :)

          I've been to so many I can't even remember how many, I'm a psycho-slut! Hahahaha

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          • Nah, moved back, but I can't afford right now. Thanks, though.

            Aww :( have (m)any of them helped?

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            • They have and also haven't, if it makes any sense.

              Our issues are there and now I think we can get to them on our own - even if more slowly than with a therapist.

              The problem is what to do with them. Now I'm of the belief that we're the only ones who can really figure it out.

              Or the IIN population! They can do it quickly! At our own risk, though.

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  • You're right, it's inappropriate. I'm sure her heart was in the right place but it isn't ok to do that in her position.

    They do the same thing at AA - someone I know ended up leaving because they were battered around the head with the Bible (figuritively lol) and were told they would be unable to quit alcohol until they accepted the Lord into their life and understood that alcohol is the devil. Such a shame because she could have used some support.

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    • Bullshit. "The ONLY requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking."

      You don't even have to stop drinking. Your friend walked into some offshoot cult or lied to you.

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      • She definitely wasn't lying

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        • The truth is that there is indeed a step where you have to acknowledge the existence of a "Higher Power" and "God as you understand it"...

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          • Yep, which can be anything. There are idiots in AA just like there are idiots everywhere you look. Tell them to fuck off and work their own program 😂

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  • Duh. Where's the relevant addition to this?

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  • Ummmmmmm ...... isn't CBT Cognitive Behavior Therapy? That's not a religion but a well regarded technique for changing negative thought patterns. What exactly are you talking about?

    That said, no therapist should be letting clients know about their religious or spiritual beliefs unless the client asks. I've had huge problems with new age type bullshit creeping into so-called therapy: for example, writing the name of the arsehole who raped me on a piece of paper and putting it in the freezer will stop him stalking me (yeah right, told that one I stopped believing in magic when I was very young); being told the therapist had dreamed he was protecting me and therefore I was safe; being told if I have a positive attitude and ask the universe I won't end up homeless (new solution for homelessness?).

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    • The therapy was CBT, not the faith. It's pretty easy to understand if you think about it for more than half a second.

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    • It OBVIOUSLY is not a religion and one should assume that I just wrote the parenthesis poorly and infer that what I tried to say is that BECAUSE it was CBT (and someone being in such therapeutic process would naturally know what it is) it wasn't weird that she shared her beliefs.

      Anyway, on to what is of relevance here, because of things like the ones you mentioned I'm not sure ANYONE is actually qualified to be a therapist.

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      • Fair enough, but from the way you worded your post for all I knew CBT was some religion I'd never heard of!

        I've had a lot of help from good therapists (including one using CBT) so I'm not prepared to write them all off: however, I have walked out on idiots like the ones I described because I know they won't be of help to me.

        I suggest you find another CBT therapist and make it clear from the start that if h/she has any religious beliefs you don't want to hear about them.

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  • Sounds like she was probably just sharing since you two been seeing each other over a year. My suggestion would be to ask her why she mention her religion to begin with, and go from there since she's a good therapist (good therapist are very hard to find). For all you know, this could easily be solved by simply asking her not to involve faith of any manner, because you're not interested in taking up any religion and that it makes you uncomfortable.

    ****

    Anyway, I'll share a story!

    During abusive mom days when I was a teenager, after a particularly bad day with her, I decided to go to my school psychologist. I told her everything! This simple woman who probably should have call cps... gave me an empty Jesus card, told me to write my feelings in it to my mom, and the lord shall guide my way and help my mom see the light. I never, ever went back in there again. At least your therapist is waaaaaaaay better than this woman. Always remember: It could be worse.

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  • When a kinky BDSM enthusiast like me hears of someone talking to their psychologist about CBT, I need to take some time out...

    Did you convert her to cock and ball torture, or did she try and talk you out of it?

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    • Cognitive Behavior Therapy =/= cock and ball torture, smarty-pants ;)

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  • Just get a second opinion and see another psychologist and explain this matter to them.

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  • I think my most recent therapist has been the best one so far. We're the same religion, so religion is really a non-issue.

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