Is it normal that i led my family to believe that some firepit ash was grandpa?

I don't understand all of the negativity that's being thrown towards your way. Just because you are related to someone, doesn't mean that you have to bend backwards and put up with their nonsense. What they did was very rude and inconsiderate. You didn't go out of your way to hurt them. I don't know if you believe in Karma or not, but it looks as though their actions have been avenged. Also, don't speak for the dead. You don't know how your grandpa feels and in a way, it sounds as though you are trying rationalise/justify the situation. I suppose that you could ask a medium/psychic about how he truly feels.

I think I should share more of the story to help understand my reasons on this. Either you agree or not I will not be convinced to change my opinion.

First off, My grandfather and I were kindred spirits in many ways. Our humor, our love for fast cars, and our disgust of the other family members who are consumed with greed.

These family members had promised to call me when his time was near. They decided amongst themselves not to. I was told at a later date that he had asked for me, yet they refused to contact me. Why? I can only speculate it was due to us being very close. They had enough time to congregate at the hospital to be there for his passing, & decided not to include me. They did not even tell me until I confronted them after calling the hospital and finding out myself over the phone.

The primary reason why I dont feel guilty in "Playing with their emotions", is during the casting of the ashes they could not stop bickering over when they were going to get "Their" money from his passing. This was utterly disgusting to me. I did originally plan on dumping his ashes as soon as I found them at the same location where we gathered. But due to their greed, and selfishness I decided not to.

Everyone's family is messed up in their own way, and mine is no different. If not more so, in that all they can think about is themselves and money. They even refused to listen to a 7 y/o girl when a family member sexually abused her. Blaming her for the falling apart of the family, accusing her of lying about what happened. These people are no more family to me than my good friends. I only associate with them on an as needed basis, preferring not to.

I did not do this to be hurtful, or to exact revenge on those who kept me in the dark. It was a spur of the moment decision, to keep the peace, and not have to deal with them hounding me about misplacing the ashes. I do keep his ashes near to remind myself to never let their level of selfishness consume me or my actions. That was the one lesson my grandfather taught me, that I hold dear to my heart. Is he laughing? No, he is dead. If he were alive, I'm sure we would have over a few beers.

I think you did well, given the situation - but you should probably curb your urge to laugh about it, or assume that Gramps would too. It's easy to fool people when the thing you're fooling them about is something most people would never fool about with!

I think I'm speechless. You lowered yourself past their level if it's true. It's not right to mess with people's emotions like that, not when it comes to death.

this is disgusting