Is it normal that..i know i need better friends?

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8 Comments

Is it normal that I know I need better friends, but either just can't find them or feel guilty about possibly ditching the ones I have for something better? One is a long-time friend from college, but, is vastly immature, selfish, and there are times I just can't stand him. When he visits, sometimes it's all I can do to not kick him out the same night. Aggravates the hell out of me, even on text and voice mail. Makes fun of anything he doesn't understand or have.

Another friend, nice enough guy and all, but tells the same stories all the time, spits when he talks, and drinks too much. People at the sports bar I hang out with him at see us as a pair (not a couple..it's not like that), and if I go in alone, they ask where he is. I'd like to ease up on my friendship with him, but feel it may be too late.

Most of my female friends are great, but one or two..Exhausting. Same thing with one of them. She tells the same stories all the time and can be needy and wacky.

I know I need better friends, and very much want to go that route, but don't know how to exit myself from the existing ones and "do better". Is it bad of me to want to ditch almost all of these people and get better friends? Even when I'm dating someone, they may ask about her, but really don't care as long as they can still monopolize my time. Sometimes I also wish I was still married...

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 13 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • xfg59
    6 years ago

    Ignore their messages until they take the hint. How hard could it be?

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    • Justmehere
      6 years ago

      I actually do sometimes ignore my old college friend's messages until I feel like getting back to him. Texting, or, calling me usually only means one thing: He's coming to visit. I have to be in the mood for it (or think I am) to get back to him at times.

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  • e51pegasi
    6 years ago


    Expand your horizons, ask your friends to do things other than sitting in a bar drinking.

    Take up some new hobbies/pastimes & you will meet new people there.

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    • Justmehere
      6 years ago

      I do have hobbies and other things, so, it's not like I'm forever at the sports bar hoisting brews. Would be nice to do so with different people, though, I'll admit that. I read a lot, work in my garage, and sometimes do networking for business (though not as much lately). Tried the meetup.com groups, and they're awful.

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      • RoseIsabella
        6 years ago

        I've kinda wondered about those Meetup.com groups myself. What are they like?

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        • Justmehere
          6 years ago

          The meetup.com groups are kind of ackward. End up looking for people you already know, which you can tell when you join the group and see the list. I went to a few, and went for a woman I knew from my business group. Met someone else, too, but wasn't my type (too old) and even a friendship wasn't really in the cards. Maybe a bigger event would be better, but the few smaller ones I did weren't really worth the time.

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  • CDmale4fem
    6 years ago

    Well,to start with, the female that is exhausting and wacky, send her my way. Years ago a buddy that I used to run around with, he really crossed the line when he had to tell other friends and fi don't know who else that he walked in (when he was my roommate), I fell asleep one day in living room. He didn't know anything about me being a crossdresser. I fell asleep in living room one day. It took me a year to find out he just HAD to tell whoever about what he had seen. So I went to his apt and proceeded to offer up an attitude adjustment. I would say either get fed up with something and go ballistic and storm off, or just start wining yourself back from spending time with the folks. Or just get up the nuts and just tell them"hey people, nothing personal but I need a break. Tell them you want your weekends to yourself. Or you could find a hobby that will require ALL of your spare time. But anyway, that buddy of mine, after i kicked his ass, de hsvent hung out since. He's cself centered, arrogant, thinks the world revolvesbaround him. So I told him to have a nice life. I haven't sernbhim but once in town.

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    • Justmehere
      6 years ago

      The female friend can be great. Made me a full turkey dinner one night b/c had one in her freezer, even served me over the shoulder like in a restaurant and wouldn't let me help clean up. She's exhausting otherwise, though. Go out with her and come home more tense than when you left. She's an energy-sapper. And other female friends of mine are taken, so, getting time with them is tough.

      As for going ballistic? With my old college friend, that may be an option at some point. He can be incredibly patience-trying. If you don't do what he wants, activity-wise, he'll bitch and moan until you give in. And my nice guy but repeats himself friend, while ok, does get on my nerves sometimes. We usually meet up on Fridays, there at the sports bar, and a few weeks ago, he was visiting family for a week, so wasn't there. I didn't stay as long, didn't have to endure the boring conversation, and only wiped my face when I ate, not him.

      My former business group (I'm still a member..Just don't do the events) gave me a decent social outlet, but even those are so cliquey. Not my scene anymore.

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