IIN that I hate my life for no reason

Isn't it an odd thing to have to remind yourself? To just be fucking grateful. I come from same background, parents split when I was 10, mom used me for child support , but knew I was the last person she could really control, so she gave enough to keep me blind sighted , not wanting more. Didn't make me get a job, I didn't even know how to use a washer until age 18. She just expected me to know how to be independent, like a switch, when I turned 18. Always told me I'd amount to nothing. Didn't prepare me at all for the real world; instead fought tooth and nail to hide me away from it all. But I was also lazy, so our ducked up system worked well for awhile. Then I got pregnant at 20 , and the father wanted to whisk me away...a way from the negative brainwash BS I was so used to with my mother. I was very reluctant. I had never known anything else outside of my mother's manipulative shadow. Just wanted to share with someone who grew up similar to me, because no one I've met in real life understands how shitty I feel, having no life skills to teach my child. (My husband tells me otherwise, but I know it's just to make me feel better. ) I didn't give a shite about anything, except maybe acting dumb enough to gain some guys pity for a night. I lost myself. I'm 24 and I don't even know what I like doing. Its the strangest sensation...like I'm behind foggy glass, watching my life play out, but doesn't feel like..me. I did notice for a few months last year when I could afford to buy local, organic produce, drank lemon water every day....I actually , like on a base level, FELT GOOD. I didn't have to try, I was just..lighter. I hope to get my garden started soon, if hubby ever gets to the wood cutting!! Blah. If anyone actually read this...I appreciate you.