Is it normal that i feel as though i cannot correctly interpret social cues?

I'll try to keep this simple.

For my whole life, I have had the feeling that I cannot correctly determine when it is appropriate to, for example, use a particular type of humor, or bring up certain topics with people, or change the subject of a conversation, or really do anything in regards to communicating with other human beings.

My feelings have been, and still are validated by people's reactions to me from time to time, both intentionally and unintentionally (this story could be very long if I elaborated on this), so I know that this is not merely my imagination. When this occurs, it is extremely embarrassing, and often makes me lose sleep.

I've been at least vaguely aware of this problem for my entire life, but only recently have I been able to specifically identify and define it with as much clarity as I just have. In retrospect, I feel that this was likely a major contributor to the extremely reserved personality that I began to develop around early adulthood.

Is this normal?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 20 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • It's normal but unhealthy. You need to be able to read certain situations etc.

    My advice: Play shadow to anyone who knows how to deal effectively with people. You'll pick up their habits and mindsets without even trying.

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    • I've tried. It's kind of like being a goose born without an internal compass, watching his friends fly south for the winter in perfect formation, wondering how the Hell everyone else seems to magically know what to do.

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      • People with Asperger's Syndrome are unable to interpret social cues. Maybe you have Asperger's? It's not a bad thing to have, btw, it's just how some people are.

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      • That'a the perfect way to describe it. How did you go? Did you make progress?

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  • I'd say it's normal because I know many people who have a hard time picking up on social cues, thus they have an introverted personality. Honestly the best advice I can offer is to just be respectful to everyone. If your kind then people would want to be around you and slowly you can show your awkward side. Oh and if it's any constellation, I hear girls like awkward guys.

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    • it's not tied to strictly introverts. If anything, extroverts miss more social cues because they're too busy acting up like a retard. Introverts take the time to shut up and notice how others react.

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      • The only reason I said what I said is because the introverts I've observed are as I described. The extroverts I see usually know how to talk and tend to be popular in their group of friends or in general. I agree with what you're saying though.

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  • On and it has even affected my jobs and much ways of life. I'm not suicidal now because I stick to it. And believe there's something around the corner for me..

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  • Yeah I feel you man its a cause of great depress like ill never amount to anything. Like life will eternally be a unfeasible task. Like it will just wash away. Not entertaining and forgotten about in the end. Suicide has been a reasonable optip

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  • I had this is issue back when I had Candida Overgrowth and due to it, at one point, I thought that I had Aspergers.

    Since taking DE (diatomaceous earth) food grade, my issue with social cues has lessen.

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  • Same. I rejected a lot of hotties on accident. Couldn't tell that they were flirting >.<

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  • It sounds like you have assburgers.

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  • I feel you, bro. I'm the same way. And I feel lime people are always talking about me negatively, particularly after I say something.

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  • I feel the same way sometimes but I think I have kind of molded by doing what cool said, just be respectful. I have also read up on body language and I have spent a lot of time just watching people, which is weird... But it helps. :-/

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  • Normal, but it is possible to learn how to read them more accurately. Do some research about body language and psychological behaviour; the more you know the better you'll get at it.

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  • You spelled "devolve" wrong.

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    • Touche. But so far, I've only benefited from abandoning the way of the herd animal.

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  • Anonymous:

    You tried what? You've surrounded yourself with sociable people and still came away unchanged?

    I'm giving you an assignment. I want you to

    1. Go to a social event/coffee shop/super market/college class

    2. Strike up a conversation with someone

    And 3. Fail at it.

    Social graces can be learned; it's a process of acquiring knowledge, not some mystical Jedi intuition that you're doomed to lack. But to learn it, you have to get out there and fail. Most importantly, you have to learn from those failures and not repeat them.

    It's like curing a alkali burn. You can pour cool water on it and irritate the burn OR you can drench it in vinegar, endure excruciating agony, and cure it.

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    • Maybe, but the idea of simply evolving into a psychologically inhuman creature has grown on me.

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