But on a less condescending level, I also empathize with you. I've felt that way before. But what I try to practice being mindful of is my belief that I am capable of being happy no matter what. If I mess around with a woman or date her or become friends with her (i.e. build some sort of relationship, I always try to appreciate it as a learning experience, as well as a new and fun time had by becoming close to someone. Regardless of how things end, because why does that matter? A woman cannot make me be unhappy, nobody can. Theoretically. Physical or psychological torture would be a struggle
No what I'm saying is I think I came across as condescending by saying that I feel sorry for you. Even though its true. Your main assumption is that relationships end poorly more often than not. I don't know what 'ending poorly' means. A fallout between partners, and perhaps between mutual friends? So what? If that happens I may be disappointed and upset, but the experience of being close to someone is always worth it. I don't hold grudges against people. I just live my life. Why does it matter whether or not I'm always going to feel the same way about her? Why does it matter whether or not she will always feel the same way about me? Relationships are dynamic. Just like peoples' perspectives, and life itself, they change through the seasons. Its beautiful. What about that isn't worth it?
I just think that you are a jaded, irrational and misguided soul. Now I know that sounds condescending, but its the truth. And I feel that I've earned the right to say that because I remember being 16-17. I was the same way back in high school.
They often do. People get divorced all the time. In school all you see people sad since "Oh they dumped me". Its really sad to watch. Ending poorly should be obvious. It means that the relationship ends.
I do not hold grudges either I just learn. No it is not worth it when you have been in a lot of them. It just becomes boring and pointless. If you can always score its no game. If you lose every-time eventually you wonder why you try at all.
Its more fun fighting for a prize not just given it. I am probobly a lot more rational then you. Since I am looking at this logically. You look at it emotionally. I see it in a less emotional sense. I am also not a minor I am an adult.
By your logic I would have already been past that stage. You think with love and I am looking at with my head. If anything I think the more intelligent one in this conversation would have to be me.
There's clearly a fundamental disagreement here. Other people cannot make me unhappy. Or happy, for that matter. That is my point. I don't see how this is an irrational belief. I can only control myself, so I should not be brought down by anything that is out of my control.
If a relationship ends badly, I don't consider that to be my fault, so I don't see why that should make me unhappy. I am unhappy only when I am disappointed in my own actions. I don't think of relationships with other people as risks like you do. You allow other people's feelings toward you to shape your happiness. That doesn't sound like something someone would do if they were thinking with their head.
What do you mean 'fighting for a prize not just given it'? Are you talking about sex? Do you think that the goal of a relationship is to have sex? Is sex so sacred that unless you do it with someone you love its a travesty?
Yeah romeo you're the smart one. You've got it all figured out. Enjoy your life, you seem like a happy person.
If no one but you makes you happy why would you even date? In fact that mean friends would serve you no purpose either. Which means you are probobly very content with being alone and do not need people. So why are you even trying to argue this point? You are illogical and you are contradicting yourself. That would mean you don't have feelings for others at all. Which means any relationship you are in is always for alternative motives.
No fighting for a prize is not sex and I am beginning to think you are an idiot. That or you are purposely misunderstanding what I say to attempt and make me look stupid. You know you need to get your head out of the gutter. Why does your mind automatically jump to sex? You realize the world is about more right? That is my point. There is more interesting ventures. Catching a fish as they say is not as hard as people make it seem. You just need the right bate.
While I was at first enjoying this conversation I am beginning to realize how dim you are. My head is a bit more complex and you seem like a simpleton. When you try to win someone over the point is for them to return your affections. If they go out with you that is the goal. So at this point you have achieved a goal. However yes some people are only looking for sex and I guess in that case the goal was sex and if they did romance the person it was only the means and the ultimate true goal would be sex. That is not exactly what I meant though. I mean simply winning the person.
If you are just looking for a sex you might as well buy a hooker. That or find a slut. That is not the point of having a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner.
IIN that I dont want to be in a relationship but be a playboy instead?
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But on a less condescending level, I also empathize with you. I've felt that way before. But what I try to practice being mindful of is my belief that I am capable of being happy no matter what. If I mess around with a woman or date her or become friends with her (i.e. build some sort of relationship, I always try to appreciate it as a learning experience, as well as a new and fun time had by becoming close to someone. Regardless of how things end, because why does that matter? A woman cannot make me be unhappy, nobody can. Theoretically. Physical or psychological torture would be a struggle
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RomeoDeMontague
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Are you saying I come off as condescending? I am sorry if I came off that way. There isn't a lot to learn about this subject.
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SchumpetersGale
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No what I'm saying is I think I came across as condescending by saying that I feel sorry for you. Even though its true. Your main assumption is that relationships end poorly more often than not. I don't know what 'ending poorly' means. A fallout between partners, and perhaps between mutual friends? So what? If that happens I may be disappointed and upset, but the experience of being close to someone is always worth it. I don't hold grudges against people. I just live my life. Why does it matter whether or not I'm always going to feel the same way about her? Why does it matter whether or not she will always feel the same way about me? Relationships are dynamic. Just like peoples' perspectives, and life itself, they change through the seasons. Its beautiful. What about that isn't worth it?
I just think that you are a jaded, irrational and misguided soul. Now I know that sounds condescending, but its the truth. And I feel that I've earned the right to say that because I remember being 16-17. I was the same way back in high school.
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RomeoDeMontague
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They often do. People get divorced all the time. In school all you see people sad since "Oh they dumped me". Its really sad to watch. Ending poorly should be obvious. It means that the relationship ends.
I do not hold grudges either I just learn. No it is not worth it when you have been in a lot of them. It just becomes boring and pointless. If you can always score its no game. If you lose every-time eventually you wonder why you try at all.
Its more fun fighting for a prize not just given it. I am probobly a lot more rational then you. Since I am looking at this logically. You look at it emotionally. I see it in a less emotional sense. I am also not a minor I am an adult.
By your logic I would have already been past that stage. You think with love and I am looking at with my head. If anything I think the more intelligent one in this conversation would have to be me.
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SchumpetersGale
10 years ago
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There's clearly a fundamental disagreement here. Other people cannot make me unhappy. Or happy, for that matter. That is my point. I don't see how this is an irrational belief. I can only control myself, so I should not be brought down by anything that is out of my control.
If a relationship ends badly, I don't consider that to be my fault, so I don't see why that should make me unhappy. I am unhappy only when I am disappointed in my own actions. I don't think of relationships with other people as risks like you do. You allow other people's feelings toward you to shape your happiness. That doesn't sound like something someone would do if they were thinking with their head.
What do you mean 'fighting for a prize not just given it'? Are you talking about sex? Do you think that the goal of a relationship is to have sex? Is sex so sacred that unless you do it with someone you love its a travesty?
Yeah romeo you're the smart one. You've got it all figured out. Enjoy your life, you seem like a happy person.
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RomeoDeMontague
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If no one but you makes you happy why would you even date? In fact that mean friends would serve you no purpose either. Which means you are probobly very content with being alone and do not need people. So why are you even trying to argue this point? You are illogical and you are contradicting yourself. That would mean you don't have feelings for others at all. Which means any relationship you are in is always for alternative motives.
No fighting for a prize is not sex and I am beginning to think you are an idiot. That or you are purposely misunderstanding what I say to attempt and make me look stupid. You know you need to get your head out of the gutter. Why does your mind automatically jump to sex? You realize the world is about more right? That is my point. There is more interesting ventures. Catching a fish as they say is not as hard as people make it seem. You just need the right bate.
While I was at first enjoying this conversation I am beginning to realize how dim you are. My head is a bit more complex and you seem like a simpleton. When you try to win someone over the point is for them to return your affections. If they go out with you that is the goal. So at this point you have achieved a goal. However yes some people are only looking for sex and I guess in that case the goal was sex and if they did romance the person it was only the means and the ultimate true goal would be sex. That is not exactly what I meant though. I mean simply winning the person.
If you are just looking for a sex you might as well buy a hooker. That or find a slut. That is not the point of having a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner.