Haha you are so cynical. Being interested in someone enough to have some kind of relationship isn't necessarily being a player. As long as you are straightforward and honest with that person about your feelings. What are you saying? That every relationship one has with people of the opposite sex amounts to nothing more than 'playing the field' if its not a committed relationship?
It doesn't sound like you've been in a relationship very recently lol
I just been around the block too many times. So I just don’t bother walking down that path anymore. I know how it starts, end, and so its rather pointless in trying anymore. Most people do not care about relationships as none of them are really faithful.
If you are men or a women there is no guarantee they care or will still for over a few months. So why bother doing something so predictable you know is going to end badly anyways. Ending a relationship does more though. It does not only mean you just lose your partner. If often means you lose reputation or friends which makes you look very very bad.
If you are the one ending it or they are it never ends very well. If you can not keep someone long enough to have children what is the point? In that case you might as well buy a hooker since its less work. People are predictable cattle anyhow. So these type of ventures are illogical. Why waste your money and time on someone who is just wasting your time?
We also have divorce that lasted long enough but they realize “Gee I don’t love them”. If you did not have children its depressing enough. Though if you have children they are the ones to suffer. children must suffer for the parents stupidity.
You know you can do this right though but it’s a science. The only way to match your perfect formula. Oh but how do you go about doing that? You could pick someone who is timid oh but that gets boring after awhile. You pick someone with fire and they might just cheat on you. So how do you know who the right one is?
If you pick someone easy to manipulate its not fun. If you do not pick someone you can completely control they leave. So you are either bored or get your few minutes of joy with someone you can never keep. Though no matter who you are dating it’s the same old predictable nonsense. No fun in playing anymore its just so overdone you see.
But on a less condescending level, I also empathize with you. I've felt that way before. But what I try to practice being mindful of is my belief that I am capable of being happy no matter what. If I mess around with a woman or date her or become friends with her (i.e. build some sort of relationship, I always try to appreciate it as a learning experience, as well as a new and fun time had by becoming close to someone. Regardless of how things end, because why does that matter? A woman cannot make me be unhappy, nobody can. Theoretically. Physical or psychological torture would be a struggle
No what I'm saying is I think I came across as condescending by saying that I feel sorry for you. Even though its true. Your main assumption is that relationships end poorly more often than not. I don't know what 'ending poorly' means. A fallout between partners, and perhaps between mutual friends? So what? If that happens I may be disappointed and upset, but the experience of being close to someone is always worth it. I don't hold grudges against people. I just live my life. Why does it matter whether or not I'm always going to feel the same way about her? Why does it matter whether or not she will always feel the same way about me? Relationships are dynamic. Just like peoples' perspectives, and life itself, they change through the seasons. Its beautiful. What about that isn't worth it?
I just think that you are a jaded, irrational and misguided soul. Now I know that sounds condescending, but its the truth. And I feel that I've earned the right to say that because I remember being 16-17. I was the same way back in high school.
They often do. People get divorced all the time. In school all you see people sad since "Oh they dumped me". Its really sad to watch. Ending poorly should be obvious. It means that the relationship ends.
I do not hold grudges either I just learn. No it is not worth it when you have been in a lot of them. It just becomes boring and pointless. If you can always score its no game. If you lose every-time eventually you wonder why you try at all.
Its more fun fighting for a prize not just given it. I am probobly a lot more rational then you. Since I am looking at this logically. You look at it emotionally. I see it in a less emotional sense. I am also not a minor I am an adult.
By your logic I would have already been past that stage. You think with love and I am looking at with my head. If anything I think the more intelligent one in this conversation would have to be me.
There's clearly a fundamental disagreement here. Other people cannot make me unhappy. Or happy, for that matter. That is my point. I don't see how this is an irrational belief. I can only control myself, so I should not be brought down by anything that is out of my control.
If a relationship ends badly, I don't consider that to be my fault, so I don't see why that should make me unhappy. I am unhappy only when I am disappointed in my own actions. I don't think of relationships with other people as risks like you do. You allow other people's feelings toward you to shape your happiness. That doesn't sound like something someone would do if they were thinking with their head.
What do you mean 'fighting for a prize not just given it'? Are you talking about sex? Do you think that the goal of a relationship is to have sex? Is sex so sacred that unless you do it with someone you love its a travesty?
Yeah romeo you're the smart one. You've got it all figured out. Enjoy your life, you seem like a happy person.
IIN that I dont want to be in a relationship but be a playboy instead?
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Haha you are so cynical. Being interested in someone enough to have some kind of relationship isn't necessarily being a player. As long as you are straightforward and honest with that person about your feelings. What are you saying? That every relationship one has with people of the opposite sex amounts to nothing more than 'playing the field' if its not a committed relationship?
It doesn't sound like you've been in a relationship very recently lol
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RomeoDeMontague
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I just been around the block too many times. So I just don’t bother walking down that path anymore. I know how it starts, end, and so its rather pointless in trying anymore. Most people do not care about relationships as none of them are really faithful.
If you are men or a women there is no guarantee they care or will still for over a few months. So why bother doing something so predictable you know is going to end badly anyways. Ending a relationship does more though. It does not only mean you just lose your partner. If often means you lose reputation or friends which makes you look very very bad.
If you are the one ending it or they are it never ends very well. If you can not keep someone long enough to have children what is the point? In that case you might as well buy a hooker since its less work. People are predictable cattle anyhow. So these type of ventures are illogical. Why waste your money and time on someone who is just wasting your time?
We also have divorce that lasted long enough but they realize “Gee I don’t love them”. If you did not have children its depressing enough. Though if you have children they are the ones to suffer. children must suffer for the parents stupidity.
You know you can do this right though but it’s a science. The only way to match your perfect formula. Oh but how do you go about doing that? You could pick someone who is timid oh but that gets boring after awhile. You pick someone with fire and they might just cheat on you. So how do you know who the right one is?
If you pick someone easy to manipulate its not fun. If you do not pick someone you can completely control they leave. So you are either bored or get your few minutes of joy with someone you can never keep. Though no matter who you are dating it’s the same old predictable nonsense. No fun in playing anymore its just so overdone you see.
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SchumpetersGale
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But on a less condescending level, I also empathize with you. I've felt that way before. But what I try to practice being mindful of is my belief that I am capable of being happy no matter what. If I mess around with a woman or date her or become friends with her (i.e. build some sort of relationship, I always try to appreciate it as a learning experience, as well as a new and fun time had by becoming close to someone. Regardless of how things end, because why does that matter? A woman cannot make me be unhappy, nobody can. Theoretically. Physical or psychological torture would be a struggle
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Are you saying I come off as condescending? I am sorry if I came off that way. There isn't a lot to learn about this subject.
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No what I'm saying is I think I came across as condescending by saying that I feel sorry for you. Even though its true. Your main assumption is that relationships end poorly more often than not. I don't know what 'ending poorly' means. A fallout between partners, and perhaps between mutual friends? So what? If that happens I may be disappointed and upset, but the experience of being close to someone is always worth it. I don't hold grudges against people. I just live my life. Why does it matter whether or not I'm always going to feel the same way about her? Why does it matter whether or not she will always feel the same way about me? Relationships are dynamic. Just like peoples' perspectives, and life itself, they change through the seasons. Its beautiful. What about that isn't worth it?
I just think that you are a jaded, irrational and misguided soul. Now I know that sounds condescending, but its the truth. And I feel that I've earned the right to say that because I remember being 16-17. I was the same way back in high school.
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They often do. People get divorced all the time. In school all you see people sad since "Oh they dumped me". Its really sad to watch. Ending poorly should be obvious. It means that the relationship ends.
I do not hold grudges either I just learn. No it is not worth it when you have been in a lot of them. It just becomes boring and pointless. If you can always score its no game. If you lose every-time eventually you wonder why you try at all.
Its more fun fighting for a prize not just given it. I am probobly a lot more rational then you. Since I am looking at this logically. You look at it emotionally. I see it in a less emotional sense. I am also not a minor I am an adult.
By your logic I would have already been past that stage. You think with love and I am looking at with my head. If anything I think the more intelligent one in this conversation would have to be me.
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SchumpetersGale
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There's clearly a fundamental disagreement here. Other people cannot make me unhappy. Or happy, for that matter. That is my point. I don't see how this is an irrational belief. I can only control myself, so I should not be brought down by anything that is out of my control.
If a relationship ends badly, I don't consider that to be my fault, so I don't see why that should make me unhappy. I am unhappy only when I am disappointed in my own actions. I don't think of relationships with other people as risks like you do. You allow other people's feelings toward you to shape your happiness. That doesn't sound like something someone would do if they were thinking with their head.
What do you mean 'fighting for a prize not just given it'? Are you talking about sex? Do you think that the goal of a relationship is to have sex? Is sex so sacred that unless you do it with someone you love its a travesty?
Yeah romeo you're the smart one. You've got it all figured out. Enjoy your life, you seem like a happy person.
You haven't convinced me of anything other than the fact that life has beaten you down, and I feel sympathy for you