Is it normal that i can't trust my boner?

I was lying down and my gf's cat jumped on the bed and walked towards me between my legs and I got a boner. After which I had an urge to pound that poor kitty's dothole but don't worry I just petted him and when he left the boner disappeared

Another time I was eating a slice of cheesecake and I got a boner and I paused because I had an urge to stick it in there and make the rest of the cake look like a donut. I didnt

Then another time I shaved my privates and after I wore my boxer briefs I got a raging boner. That time, I got fed up and beat it

What is wrong with me. I swear women have it easy