Is it normal that i can't be happy with someone

I've been seeing this guy for about 2 weeks. After our first date he made sure that our 2nd date would be the NEXT day. He's into me, not afraid to show it, studying to become a doctor, in tune with his emotions, conventionally attractive, and healthy. He's looking for a serious relationship and I can tell he would be a great father and husband. By date 3 I was scared that I was starting to look at him more as a friend, so I decided to make out with him to prevent that. Big mistake, this man was a bad kisser. Then, grabbed my crotch so hard it hurt, didn't feel good at all.I could tell he was confident in what he was doing but goodness he was doing it all wrong. So, I think my plan had the opposite effect. Anyways, I say all this because I've been single my entire life (26 years). I've met so many guys who don't have a good head on their shoulders, no aspirations, not willing to talk about their emotions, lacking maturity etc. Finally, I meet a guy who checks all these boxes and boom, I'm looking at him more as a friend. Why can't I just be happy? Is this normal?

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  • Omg...where to start.

    Just the fact that you took the time to rattle off this...weird checklist of desirable traits...he's so good looking & he's gonna be a rich dr.

    That is just...such a problem, dude. You have a really, really unhealthy approach to dating...

    You should be with someone who treats you well. Someone you can talk to. Someone who you're into. Not some fucking guy, who's not wetting the lady underoos, & who happens to meet some weird checklist of criteria on paper.

    You really need to reassess your priorities.

    Ugh, plus he donalded your nether regions...gross.

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    • "plus he donalded your nether regions"

      I'm dying laughing XD

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    • I agree.

      Not to mention that happiness doesn't come from a relationship, it starts with being happy with yourself. OP, you ask why you can't be happy, it is because you are looking for someone else to make you happy. While a relationship should definitely add to your happiness, you need to find happiness within yourself first before you can ever be happy with another person. It's a huge burden to put on someone to expect them to be the sole provider of your happiness. What happens when the inevitable bumps in the road happen in your relationship?

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      • You speak the truth...& it's so beautifully written. I'm saving this one in my mental bank.

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      • Hey, so I am happy with myself. I mean't that for some reason I'm not satisfied with someone else. Also, I talked about how I think he'd make a great father, a supportive husband, someone who articulates their feelings, emotionally mature, has a good head on his shoulders, and how we get along as friends..and yet according to ya'll my focus is on his career.

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        • Dude, you're missing the point. The reason why people are harping away about his career is because you felt the need to mention it in your post.

          Even in your defense of yourself, you're still making a laundry list.

          Oh he's a great future dad...check.

          Emotionally mature...check.

          That's not the way it works. Just because he meets the on paper requirements for what you define as a great relationship, does not mean that he's the right partner for you. You're not even attracted to him...I mean, c'mon.

          You're not the only fucking person in this relationship. If he's a kindhearted person & a great future dad, etc, then he deserves someone who wants him like crazy & you are not that person.

          You should be with someone who you are absolutely infatuated with too, even though you seem like a bit of an asshole lol.

          The essence of your question is SHOULD I SETTLE? I think the answer is no...

          & I think this amazing friend, great guy, wonderful person...well, he deserves someone who loves him with all their heart & you are not that guy.

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          • Infatuation and passion are temporary and fleeting. No wonder so many people are of the pickup and dump variety. They think with their crotch.

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          • "well, he deserves someone who loves him with all their heart & you are not that guy."

            Guy? OP is a woman lol. I think you're right on most of your points but I don't think it's a bad thing to have a checklist of traits you're seeking out in a partner. It's important to know what you're looking for when dating and that can show maturity to potential partners. If they match most of the qualities that you're looking for, like with OP's situation, then they'd make a decent partner. She can then choose to either settle or continue dating in order to find someone that suits her needs even better. There's nothing wrong with seeking men the way OP is doing it. If she keeps going she may just find that special someone.

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            • Ive never been married and never plan to, honestly Im about as good at serious relationships as I am at piloting a hot air baloon so take this with a grain of salt but...

              Speaking to people Ive known in my life the reason most relationships fail is the approach people take where they want a person who meets all this specific criteria and basically make up a person in their head that they're looking for. This imaginary perfect partner doesn't exist, so they find people similar to their ideal and then try to like work on them to make them into that person.

              There's nothing wrong with standards but "I found a person whos probably going to have a lot of money one day and seems like he'd be a good dad" isn't a reason to get into a relationship with somebody you obviously aren't attracted to.

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        • I disagree with their preaching. Im not saying be a gold digger. But you should consider the things you did. Your checklist is a good thing. You have to think about the possible future. You dont wanna waste your time and give a chance to some dude that has a career at mcdonalds and a neck tattoo. You should go for the winners.

          These people here talking about "dont worry about his success" are single. The one girl preaching to you dates through the internet. Probably to a guy in a trailer park somewhere. Do you want to end up with 5 kids to a man in the trailer park and live off welfare your whole life because you thought some dude was fun? Go for the winners. Dont give losers the time of day. Youre doing good.

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  • Just because he's great in many ways doesn't mean he's your perfect match. You don't need to settle for the first decent man that pops up.

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  • I've been with a few people who "check all the boxes" but if the ever elusive, non- tangible "spark" isn't there you're going to find yourself looking for greener pastures. Just because someone is good, doesn't they're good for you. Do yourself a favor and don't settle because it'll just lead to resentment later in the relationship.

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  • Hoe, what is up with all these goals you set fo a potential partner to have? that shit ain't achievements that you need to unlock in order to proceed to da next level.
    I think that yo ass don't understand things yet coz your lack of experience is seriously kicking you in yo labia and leaving them hanging.

    Stop trying to pursue this obscure version of what you think love should be.
    Hoe, check yoself before you wreck it ralph. I ain't saying you a gold digga but you ain't messing wit no broke nigga.

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  • You can always train him how things work good for getting your motor purring. You can tell him hes a terrible kisser and burst his male ego, or again, you can try telling him to just sit back and let you "seduce" him so to speak and you can show him how things are good for you. Or you can kick him to the curb and move on to another somebody.

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  • Stay with him. He's gonna be a doctor. He sounds like a winner. Bad kissing is usually fixed with time. Possibly he's inexperienced with kissing but the longer you're in a relationship the better you get at it. When you stay in a relationship long enough your partner feels more like a friend also. Its not like the movies.

    Im not saying be a gold digger but hes a guy you can be proud of being with. You'll have all kinds of privileges being married to a doctor. Will probably hang out with politicians and shit and you'll be rich af. He's a good catch and if you dump him he will eventually get some trophy wife anyhow. Might as well be you.

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    • ....

      What...


      ...

      What...

      What...the fuck...

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      • I was halfway trolling, but I do agree with her little checklist. She gets along with the guy. And if she's just looking for fun he's not the guy but she sounds like, with her list, shes looking for someone that can provide a good future for her and her future kids (she said he would be a great father so we know shes thinking about raising her children).

        A doctor can provide the financials for that and the schooling for her children. They will be more likely to have a good life. If it was my daughter id want her to marry someone like this and not some other loser. It sounds like she knows her worth

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  • Friend zone this guy. Kissing is important. I love kissing, but I'm too pathetic for consideration.

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  • Tell him to suck your pussy, if he does it well, then he is the correct man... you can also go and suck his dick after and make a 69. I dont know, go and try stuff with the guy and see if he is your guy stupid slut.

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