Wow. Ever since I could have sex without my mind being completely focused on "if I'm doing it right", I have had to fantasize about the guy "with" another girl. Thinking I was around 17 years old when I started. I'm now 32 and it's always be n the only way I can orgasm. I never had an orgasm with a man until I started doing this. And I absolutely cannot orgasm without imagining him with another women. And yes, I also want him to degrade me by telling me how good she is and that she feels better and I even have had my boyfriends tell me details of the encounters they've had when cheating on me. I've EVEN watched a few videos that he had recorded on his phone. Even while I'm "alone" I have to fantasize about my boyfriend being with another women. ALL THE TIME EVERY TIME. and I also feel like a worthless discussing pathetic peice of nasty junk IMMEDIATELY after I orgasm. I've always dated munipulative abusive lying assholes until I met my current boyfriend. And I was just amazed and completely baffled as to how for the VERY first time, I didn't have to think of him with anyone else but me. It even made me Feel So Happy and so loved that I broke into tears several times. But then we became pregnant and had our baby. I gained a lot of weight not just because of pregnancy but we also got clean from drugs when we saw the positive pregnancy test. Also being new to even the thought of sex without drugs just seemed like "alot a work", needless to say we had no sex for over a year. But then my boyfriend relapsed, and is NOT AT ALLGOOD at being discreet, so I found he was having some crazy and extreme online sexual relations. And just like that my need to degrade myslef in order to achieve orgasm is back. I never thought this need of mine was connected with any deeper of an issue other than some connection with childhood sexual tram but only thinking it had left me "a bit extreme on the sexual side", up until after then. It was then clear to me that it had a direct link to how secure I felt in the relationship. ND ow after reading th8s, it's even all the more clear. I had figured there are others like me, but never actually heard anyone talk about it before. Thank you for posting this. I think it's going to help me with finding what I need to do in order to find happiness
IIN that I can only orgasm if I imagine my boyfriend with another girl
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Wow. Ever since I could have sex without my mind being completely focused on "if I'm doing it right", I have had to fantasize about the guy "with" another girl. Thinking I was around 17 years old when I started. I'm now 32 and it's always be n the only way I can orgasm. I never had an orgasm with a man until I started doing this. And I absolutely cannot orgasm without imagining him with another women. And yes, I also want him to degrade me by telling me how good she is and that she feels better and I even have had my boyfriends tell me details of the encounters they've had when cheating on me. I've EVEN watched a few videos that he had recorded on his phone. Even while I'm "alone" I have to fantasize about my boyfriend being with another women. ALL THE TIME EVERY TIME. and I also feel like a worthless discussing pathetic peice of nasty junk IMMEDIATELY after I orgasm. I've always dated munipulative abusive lying assholes until I met my current boyfriend. And I was just amazed and completely baffled as to how for the VERY first time, I didn't have to think of him with anyone else but me. It even made me Feel So Happy and so loved that I broke into tears several times. But then we became pregnant and had our baby. I gained a lot of weight not just because of pregnancy but we also got clean from drugs when we saw the positive pregnancy test. Also being new to even the thought of sex without drugs just seemed like "alot a work", needless to say we had no sex for over a year. But then my boyfriend relapsed, and is NOT AT ALLGOOD at being discreet, so I found he was having some crazy and extreme online sexual relations. And just like that my need to degrade myslef in order to achieve orgasm is back. I never thought this need of mine was connected with any deeper of an issue other than some connection with childhood sexual tram but only thinking it had left me "a bit extreme on the sexual side", up until after then. It was then clear to me that it had a direct link to how secure I felt in the relationship. ND ow after reading th8s, it's even all the more clear. I had figured there are others like me, but never actually heard anyone talk about it before. Thank you for posting this. I think it's going to help me with finding what I need to do in order to find happiness