You've got to realise that you cannot have both. You can't have a steady partner and the enjoy the constant positive reinforcement of dates and sex with other people. It's not acceptable or condonable.
Maybe you find it hard to say no to people. So practice saying no. Practice rejecting people. After doing it a few times, it becomes easy not scary. It's empowering to assert your boundaries; it's not a burden.
If you genuinely want to control your behaviour but just can't - and if you don't know why you can't control it - I would recommend seeing a therapist. Compulsive, destructive behaviour is not normal, and seeing a therapist may help with it. Maybe this problem will get better as you mature, but I wouldn't take that chance. Until you get this problem solved, I think you should avoid all relationships, dates and casual sex. You might find that being single does you good.
Thanks! I actually really appreciate the genuine advice. It means a lot, and your words and advice will be taken into serious consideration as I practice saying no.
This is true, I didn't factor in non-monogamous relationships. I think there are good and bad reasons to have non-monogamous relationships, though. I think compulsive cheating in monogamous relationships is a bad reason, because it's better to reduce compulsive behaviour itself (treating the cause) than to adapt your circumstances and allow the compulsive behaviour to continue (treating the symptoms). But hey, that's just my own personal outlook.
IIN that I always cheat on boyfriends, no matter how much I like them?
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You've got to realise that you cannot have both. You can't have a steady partner and the enjoy the constant positive reinforcement of dates and sex with other people. It's not acceptable or condonable.
Maybe you find it hard to say no to people. So practice saying no. Practice rejecting people. After doing it a few times, it becomes easy not scary. It's empowering to assert your boundaries; it's not a burden.
If you genuinely want to control your behaviour but just can't - and if you don't know why you can't control it - I would recommend seeing a therapist. Compulsive, destructive behaviour is not normal, and seeing a therapist may help with it. Maybe this problem will get better as you mature, but I wouldn't take that chance. Until you get this problem solved, I think you should avoid all relationships, dates and casual sex. You might find that being single does you good.
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runnergirl13
9 years ago
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Couman
9 years ago
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Thanks! I actually really appreciate the genuine advice. It means a lot, and your words and advice will be taken into serious consideration as I practice saying no.
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dom180
9 years ago
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Commitment to solving your own problems is admirable, so I hope you follow through.
Who says you can't have both? Plenty of people have steady but non-exclusive relationships. The important thing of course is to be honest about it.
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dom180
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This is true, I didn't factor in non-monogamous relationships. I think there are good and bad reasons to have non-monogamous relationships, though. I think compulsive cheating in monogamous relationships is a bad reason, because it's better to reduce compulsive behaviour itself (treating the cause) than to adapt your circumstances and allow the compulsive behaviour to continue (treating the symptoms). But hey, that's just my own personal outlook.