She says, "I don't care, I'm naive, I know. But, I love him." In other words, in her silly little head, love is about someone being so infatuated that they want to control your every action. Got to wonder what her family is like, particularly her relationship with her father. As for the boyfriend, it's possible he's a psychopath-in-training.
The boyfriend's behavior is very controlling and manipulative, and her response is extremely stupid and immature, but there's nothing you can do about that.
Like others have said, it's very likely this will end badly, but you won't be responsible for that and, having told her what you think, you've done all you can.
If watching this sick little drama unfold upsets you, the only thing you can do is detach. Tell her that you'll be happy to talk to her when she grows up and sees sense, but until then you'll be keeping your distance from her insecure, childish, and possibly baby-psychopath boyfriend.
You did hit on something very important here that no one else mentioned... it's not OPs fault, regardless of how this all shakes down. They've done all they can to try to help their friend, but you can't get someone to see what's right in front of their face if they don't want to.
I've been on both sides of this myself, and as much as it's awful to see your friends going through something like this.. you can't just talk someone out of an abusive relationship, not unless things have already hit that breaking point, just as surely as you can't talk someone out of quitting smoking if they don't want to quit.
The only thing you can do OP is what you did, and then be there for your friend when this all goes down in flames, and I strongly suspect it will, this sort of behavior almost always escalates.
IIN that a guy won't let his girlfriend have her own social media accounts?
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She says, "I don't care, I'm naive, I know. But, I love him." In other words, in her silly little head, love is about someone being so infatuated that they want to control your every action. Got to wonder what her family is like, particularly her relationship with her father. As for the boyfriend, it's possible he's a psychopath-in-training.
The boyfriend's behavior is very controlling and manipulative, and her response is extremely stupid and immature, but there's nothing you can do about that.
Like others have said, it's very likely this will end badly, but you won't be responsible for that and, having told her what you think, you've done all you can.
If watching this sick little drama unfold upsets you, the only thing you can do is detach. Tell her that you'll be happy to talk to her when she grows up and sees sense, but until then you'll be keeping your distance from her insecure, childish, and possibly baby-psychopath boyfriend.
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shade_ilmaendu
5 years ago
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You did hit on something very important here that no one else mentioned... it's not OPs fault, regardless of how this all shakes down. They've done all they can to try to help their friend, but you can't get someone to see what's right in front of their face if they don't want to.
I've been on both sides of this myself, and as much as it's awful to see your friends going through something like this.. you can't just talk someone out of an abusive relationship, not unless things have already hit that breaking point, just as surely as you can't talk someone out of quitting smoking if they don't want to quit.
The only thing you can do OP is what you did, and then be there for your friend when this all goes down in flames, and I strongly suspect it will, this sort of behavior almost always escalates.