Is it normal that a guy i used to make out with

38% Normal
44 Comments

...when I was 16 suddenly looks me up 30 years later and invites me to go on a cross country shoreline trip? That's my question. Shocking to me and although in theory I do understand someone wanting to try and find that first high of early sexual experiences I have no longing for that. I just leave the past there where it belongs.

For some context, the worst part of it is he currently has a girlfriend. Up to that point I was slightly tempted to go because traveling is my favorite thing in the world and the Brazilian coast is absolutely awesome but then that. Fuckin asshole.

Anyway, the question is not about judging his lack of respect for her, me or himself, we've already established that. Do you think it's normal to try and reconnect after such a long time??

Voting Results
38% Normal
Based on 32 votes (12 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 44 )
  • leggs91200
    4 years ago

    There is no such thing as "casual sex". Once you connect with someone that way, it doesn't just vanish.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      Hi, leggs, I get it but we never even had full on sex. He's imagining the 16 yo he was.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • JellyBeanBandit
    4 years ago

    It's normal if he wanted to go for drinks or something but a trip is a bit much.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    2
    2
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      Yeah, exactly what I thought to myself. And even then it's a little weird for me.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • Grunewald
    4 years ago

    He sounds lost in life. I reckon he's looking for a piece of himself and wondering if he left it with you.

    Pity the guy but o/c don't indulge him... not that you need telling.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      Yeah, Ruth, seems like he's not in the best place in his life. I've finally managed to NOT be in a relationship (for over 20 years I was always in and out of them, one after the other) and would never give this freedom up for someone so selfish. I pity the girl most, to be honest.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • d0esnormalmatter
    4 years ago

    I mean its normal that hes still attracted to you and wants to get back together or whatever. But if he has a gf I would not entertain the idea.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      It's not like we were ever together for us to get back together, we were just teenagers who made out a few times.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • d0esnormalmatter
        4 years ago

        Yes but if you just made out again, his girlfriend would most likely not be okay with that.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • LornaMae
          4 years ago

          Of course not and neither would I!!!

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • d0esnormalmatter
            4 years ago

            Okay good lol

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
  • Cuntsiclestick
    4 years ago

    The whole thing seems fishy, especially since he has a girlfriend. I wouldn't try to reconnect with this guy. I'm getting the impression that he sees you as a potential piece of ass he can have on the side.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      Ikr? He's been calling me about 2 or 3 times a year since he said hello on FB. We live 1500 miles apart so we haven't had a chance to see each other. Last time we spoke he had broken up with this gf, so this time I figured he was still single until I asked - seems he wouldn't have told me if I hadn't.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • Cuntsiclestick
        4 years ago

        Perhaps you should notify his girlfriend about him trying to sneaky sneak on her?

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • LornaMae
          4 years ago

          I'd never do that. If she were a friend or someone I knew I might consider doing it but even so I'm not sure I'd want to stir up shit in other people's lives, ya know? Would you?

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • Cuntsiclestick
            4 years ago

            I would and I have before. He's already started trying to involve you in ruining her life. May as well finish it by telling her. People like him eventually leave their partners for something better. If she's smart, she'll leave him before he does that. Though in the end, the decision is up to you. You really don't have to do anything if you don't want to.
            :)

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • LornaMae
              4 years ago

              Ah, I don't have the energy for that, I barely manage talking to the people I know and like! Hahaha

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0
  • windyleave
    4 years ago

    Hi Lorna! I think it is... kinda normal
    Some people have the philosophy that not even a second of life should be wasted, that you gotta act now (small things counting) and I think I get where that guy's coming from. Maybe he just wants to get away from everything and live a big adventure with someone who he can get to know all over again (I mean it's been 30 years so clearly you're not the same person you were then). I know it may sound stupid but it reminds me of the Piña Colada song, the guy who's tired of his wife and wants to escape to a new life with this random woman... maybe he has that feeling. Maybe it is not that weird to be the Piña Colada guy at some point in life.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      Hahaha I think he has felt and lived like the piña colada guy all his life! While I agree with you to a certain extent, I spoke to him again and told him to take care of the people he already has in his life and that I'd never do anything that would hurt someone even if I don't know them. Then he went on to say he's like that and it's hard to change, that he isn't a bad guy, etc. So I told him to forget about spending time with me but I'd be there to chat whenever he wanted. He answered "okay, beautiful", which I thought was dismissive. Then I thought it over and decided "ain't nobody got time for that" and blocked him. Haha

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      2
      2
        -
      • windyleave
        4 years ago

        Hahaha well al least it's a good story to tell!

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • LornaMae
          4 years ago

          Meh! Lol kidding, I've told one friend and he had the same sentiment as most here. I think that's the last time I'll tell it, tbh.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • FromTheSouthWeirdMan
    4 years ago

    If you trust him enough to not murder you and dissolve your body in acid somewhere in south America id do it

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Iszzy123
    4 years ago

    Ppl have regrets

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • controversy
    4 years ago

    Yes that is normal, he misses you.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      But it's been so long. I'm barely the same person and I know very little about who he has become, except for a handful of facts he's told me recently.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
  • ellnell
    4 years ago

    Very strange especially if he has a girlfriend. Doesn't sound like a very trustworthy man.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      Definitely not trustworthy, I'm very unimpressed by that. I'd never get together with someone who is looking for something outside his current relationship. I feel especially bad for the gf, it seems they've been together for 9 years on and off and she's never been married, while he has, so he's probably her 'one'. Ugh.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      0
      0
        -
      • ellnell
        4 years ago

        Well you could possibly contact her if you have the proof of him texting you and asking you on a trip.
        Shame that some people can't just be faithful.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • LornaMae
          4 years ago

          Oh no, ellnell, it wasn't over text, we spoke on the phone but even if it had been I'd never do that to this girl! It really is a shame.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
  • McBean
    4 years ago

    This is difficult. Perhaps he could friend you on Facebook. Or, send a birthday card saying he is looking forward to talking to you at an upcoming class reunion.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • LornaMae
      4 years ago

      Actually he has done that a couple of years ago, it wasn't as out of the blue as I made it seem.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
        -
      • McBean
        4 years ago

        Well, you and he are probably friends for reference to the future. I hope you were Facebook friends for a few weeks. It's a good way to see how your lives have played out for closure to the past.

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        0
        0
          -
        • LornaMae
          4 years ago

          Yeah, it's nice when there is a past that needs closing but we were never in a proper relationship. Anyway, I just thought it was weird.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
            -
          • McBean
            4 years ago

            Once, I got stalked by a girl that knew me in eighth grade, fifty years later. I suppose she had issues that needed closure. I kept my distance. Things like that can get ugly quickly according to articles that I have read.

            Comment Hidden ( show )
            0
            0
              -
            • LornaMae
              4 years ago

              Really? When he suggested the trip I first thought for a second of those stories we hear about people rekindling long lost relationships and living happily ever after. Then it hit me that that was not what was happening. I'm thinking what you're saying gets ugly is the stalking part not the reconnection, right?

              Comment Hidden ( show )
              0
              0