Is it normal so many people tolerate abuse?

48% Normal
10 Comments

This is something I have always noticed about society. My whole life I have heard stories of abuse where nobody defends themselves, nor who they should care about. They often go as far as to seem to seek abuse. Sometimes for approval, sometimes out of fear and who knows whatever reason.
Something I will never understand, no matter how much it may be explained, is why?
Why are some people so submissive? Why do they feel the need for approval from those who do not respect them? Why are they afarid of their feelings being hurt? Why are they scared to stand up for what they should care about?
The only reason I can think of is because they don't care.
Most people have their own fears and desire acceptance, but if you are not willing to make the sacrifice of facing your fears, or being rejected, you can not truly care, because caring takes willingness to fight no matter what happens.
If you are not willing to do that then why are you willing to let others be disrespectful towards you?
Everybody should demand to be respected, regardless of who they are, because until you respect yourself, you cannot even begin to stand up to those who hurt what should truly matter to you.
I cannot help but to look down on most of society. I don't want to feel that way, but I cannot help it when I hear so many people tolerating abuse.

Voting Results
48% Normal
Based on 23 votes (11 yes)
Help us keep this site organized and clean. Thanks!
[ Report Post ]
Comments ( 10 )
  • wistfulmaiden
    9 years ago

    I guess some people have never been treated well since childhood and they think abuse is "normal". Its not! I hate abusers, I don't put up with any shit, if you fuck with me Im going to fuck you twice over and back across the rainbow.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    1
    1
  • Crusades_
    9 years ago

    You can't just demand respect. You have to earn it.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
      -
    • [Old Memory]
      9 years ago

      If somebody lets themselves be disrespected and abused in the first place, how are they going to be respected later on? Why would anybody respect someone who doesn't respect themselves or has no real opinions and feels the need to seek approval from somebody who brings them down?
      You shouldn't have to prove anything to anybody. They can either accept you or not and if they don't, there is no purpose begging for approval.

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      3
      3
        -
      • Crusades_
        9 years ago

        In no way i condone begging for approval nor do i condone letting yourself be humiliated. That's exactly why i say that you have to earn it. I mean you have to fight for it in order to prove yourself worthy of deserving respect.
        It seems to me that OP comes off as entitled to get respect from the way they explained it. And that's what i find funny. You can't just demand respect for the simple fact that you exist. Nature doesn't work that way. Life is gonna put you through several tests.It's part of natural selection.
        "You shouldn't have to prove anything to anybody". I disagree.Everyone must prove themselves fit in order to gain a front row in the food chain. We are part of a community. We are social creatures. We cannot live on our own because, at some point in our life, we depend on the help of others. If you don't want to prove yourself, then you shouldn't demand anything from anyone.Entitlement without virtue and sacrifice has no place in this universe.
        Only a leftist liberal scumbag would disagree with that.

        http://img.pandawhale.com/post-36423-earn-this-gif-earn-it-Tom-Hank-nFkP.gif

        Comment Hidden ( show )
        1
        1
          -
        • [Old Memory]
          9 years ago

          My point was that if somebody doesn't respect themselves, nobody else will.
          I get what you're saying but what I was implying about demanding respect is not tolerating abuse. I know you cannot tell people what to think or do, so I will admit demand was not the best word choice.
          What inspired this topic was another recent post where somebody drank piss to join a club, as well as a topic in my real life regarding my childhood foster brothers bio moms abusive husband who still abuses his wife and her other 2 adult kids who live with him (in their 30s and 50s). I am completely dumbfounded by not only why they stay there, or desire to be a part of these groups, but why nobody stands up to the ones instigating these situations. I don't think there is anything there to understand though. That is where people need to "demand respect" by saying they will not tolerate this behavior, but they never do because they obviously lack the ability to care.

          Comment Hidden ( show )
          0
          0
    • RoseIsabella
      9 years ago

      I'd rather die on my feet than live on my knees. RAWR!

      Comment Hidden ( show )
      1
      1
  • MangoTango
    9 years ago

    You have a healthy freaking ego. An independent spirit. You have self-respect. I could continue.

    I don't get it either. Yes, I've seen people as you describe. Clingy weirdos. My guess? Their social cohesiveness drive is far stronger than their other drives. Must be brain wiring? My guess.

    I've met co-dependent types. I just leave with no explanation, or goodbye. Yep, that's why acquaintances only get my spam contact address until they've been vetted.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • amazinglyso
    9 years ago

    There are many well written books on 'breaking the cycle of abuse' and how to achieve a higher self-esteem, so as not to become victim to unhinged tyrants, and thrive beyond a life of fear and human injustice. For many adults, we do have the choice to be free of abuse, yet it often takes a great deal of time and courage to arrive at this - especially if we have been victims of it before and/or is a pattern of familiarity for some.

    I survived childhood sexual and mental abuse; witnessed my mother and brother being beaten savagely by my step-father for many long years - since the age of 2 to 14. I could easily have been with violent partners as a result of my experiences, yet made a conscious choice not to ever become victim to anyone ever again. My intentions as solid as my will to survive the trauma I still feel today of my past, where no closure of it has yet been achieved. I have been without family contact for some 26 years, and cannot challenge those who did what they did to me.

    However, it took some time to arrive at where I am now in terms of personal courage to not become victim to abuse again - it is a lifelong learning process for those of us who have grown up with seeing it as normal practice.

    For instance, many abuse survivors find it a lot easier to identify and empathize with their abusers, rather than be angry about what happened to them. I am still quite angry about what happened, because my family did not want to talk about it or stop it from happening all those years ago, and despite renewing my contact with them after 26 years, they remain unchanged whilst I am still surviving and cultivating my self-esteem, goals and desires to become a person in my own right.

    I did break the cycle of abuse for me, but still have no idea how I arrived at this, other than through sheer determination to thrive beyond abuse.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Blue_Velvet
    9 years ago

    I was in a abusive relationship once. My ex boyfriend was extremely jealous of other guys and i couldn't talk to anyone before he interrupted. He almost killed me too. I left him and never looked back since.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0
  • Freedom_
    9 years ago

    It seems that people in abusive relationships fail to see the severity of the situation. It's just normal for them and they need help and patience from friends and family to be able to see the big picture and gtfo. They are probably blaming their problems on everything but the abuser like, "oh, we're just having money issues", "he had a bad life" or blame themselves. Or they feel like the only alternative is homelessness or something as equally unappealing.

    It's not as simple as just respecting oneself. They could be respecting themselves as much as they are capable of in such a putrid environment. They have adapted because if they didn't they would go crazy and they need helping seeing that they deserve better.

    Comment Hidden ( show )
    0
    0