Is it normal normal she is selfless in bed?

67% Normal
11 Comments

She is my first gf. But I am her eigth. We have been going out for a few months now. I dont know if it's relevant but her first bf was physically abusive, maybe even sexually. She was into the whole drugs scene but quit once she got preggers

A few times when we got into the act and I was in the process of going down on her she sit up, so nervous, put her hands on my shoulders and said "I want *you*" implying P in the V. I obliged but thought why? Self conscious cause of hygiene? Cause you arent 100% shaved there? Cause you think I would suck at it? No pun intended.

I dont know what made me ask her if she ever had an orgasm, but she said no, not via sex but has achieved it twice by her hand. I noticed she cringed, had her hand on eyes while confessing this. Like she was embarrassed. She also said orgasms werent a big deal to her, and are not as great as they are hyped up to be

I know I dont have the experience and therefore credibility to say this: but I get the feeling from her body language during sex that she's holding on, and not letting go? Like... not letting herself free. She also changes her undies after every "time" even if it is 4 times the same night. I thought that was interesting. She's self conscious as if she were ashamed getting on top. Which makes NO sense cause she is has a body so perfect I want to hit my head into the wall. Smallish boobies sure but I love them, have never been a fan of big oversized ones. She probably doesnt believe that.

I feel we are two people of the same personality. And that's clashing. I am a giver and helper, yet she is too. Like I will bring big water crates on my way fo her 3 storey apartment, so that she doesnt have to do the heavy lifting through all those stairs, and she says it wasnt necessary, almost embarrassed. Same with other stuff. Plus she often likes to go down on me and I let her, but a few times I have declined because I wanted *her* instead. Face to face. To connect with her, look her in the eyes.

Sorry for being too long!

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 45 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 11 )
  • Couman
    9 years ago

    Some people love showing their partner a good time and enjoy that more than direct physical pleasure. There's nothing wrong with that... but I don't think that's all that's going on here. It does sound like she's had some very inconsiderate partners in the past. Perhaps she'll gradually open up now that she's in a better kind of relationship.

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  • ㅤㅤㅤ
    9 years ago

    You two sound incredibly sweet. I hope everything works out with you both! :,)

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  • Gspyder
    9 years ago

    It sounds like you're on the right track. I think she just has low self-esteem from her abusive relationship. She sounds very repressed about her own sexuality, like thinking she shouldn't orgasm and is somehow dirty after sex to the point of needing to change. Just keep reminding her she is loved and beautiful and with your help she can slowly become more comfortable with herself.

    I can relate because I had very low self-worth after an emotionally abusive relationship. My current girlfriend saw my value when I had been convinced I had none and helped me like you're helping her.

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  • RoseIsabella
    9 years ago

    Sweet, be good to her.
    :-)

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  • NiniCool
    9 years ago

    Well, I weren't physically abused, but I kind of see myself in your girlfriend behavior.
    I was very unconfortable when my boyfriend could see my body
    I always get embarasssed when people offer help...

    I think everything is right with your friend. She may be more confortable someday. :)

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  • Holzman_67
    9 years ago

    I think your question got lost in your story

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago

      Im sorry! Im a sucker for details. How can I expect someone give me a good answer if I dont give them as much as possible details

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      • Holzman_67
        9 years ago

        but how is someone meant to answer if all the details cloud the directness of the question to the point where one doesn't know what you're asking anymore?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          You are absolutely right. The directness of the question IS supposed to be clouded. It is not a black and white situation. It is why I am here. BUT throughout my post there was always only one question. Few question marks, but one question. The title. And everything that was said was relevant to the title.

          It would be unreasonable to expect a profound explanation like Gspyder and Couman gave, the kind of insight I was looking for, if all I gave were three lines. Yes, I was tangential but I mentioned everything that was relevant to her being selfless: her history, her reactions to different things I did, her habits, and my view of her.

          I would love to debate my point more but for what it's worth, I thumbs-upped your first comment cause it was true and funny. I thank you for reading this

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  • Mersaphe
    9 years ago

    Pass the box of tissues, will ya?

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  • LIGHTHOUSE
    9 years ago

    So sweet of you caring your girlfriend. She is hungry of love, affection and centre of attraction. Make feel her that you are ever ready for her.

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