Sounds like you two are having fun, which is nice.
Sexual orientation is not an either-or thing. It's a spectrum. Some people find only those of the opposite gender attractive, others are a bit more fluid. The fact that you've had sexual encounters with a woman does not mean you have to stick the label "Lesbian" on yourself. Anyway, I don't see why you seem to feel that being a lesbian is something you need to feel guilty about.
The fact you're in a relationship with someone other than your roommate does complicate things. The stereotype is that most guys have an ability to separate love from sex. Maybe your boyfriend would be able to accept what you're doing with your roommate as just a physical thing and not feel threatened, but maybe he would think (as others here believe) that you have cheated on him. For me (a guy), the emotional aspect would be more important. If I was certain my girlfriend loved me and she and her roommate were basically just using each other to get off now and then when I wasn't around, that would be cool with me. I would be concerned, though, about emotional bonds being formed between the two women and how those might affect the relationship between my girlfriend and me.
The fact that you say in response to an early reply that your boyfriend would "kill you" if he learned about this is worrying. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but it sounds like he's someone with very rigid boundaries. Possibly he's very insecure. Maybe he's even controlling.
In any case, be careful about telling your boyfriend about this. He might blow you off immediately, or he might want to watch. If the latter, be very careful to set boundaries. Think about how you'd feel if your boyfriend wanted to be intimate with your roommate.
Also, think about how you'd feel if the situation was reversed: how would you feel if your boyfriend told you that he and his male roommate occasionally engaged in mutual masturbation?
I really appreciate this thoughtful response. The guilt aspect has nothing to do with there being something wrong with being a lesbian, guilt was probably the wrong word.
Kill me was an exaggeration, but I don't think it is something he would find hot or be interested in and I think he would leave me. Or at least be very mad for a long time. But again I'm not sure. It's a pretty stressful situation.
IIN my roommate and I love to help eachother get off?
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Sounds like you two are having fun, which is nice.
Sexual orientation is not an either-or thing. It's a spectrum. Some people find only those of the opposite gender attractive, others are a bit more fluid. The fact that you've had sexual encounters with a woman does not mean you have to stick the label "Lesbian" on yourself. Anyway, I don't see why you seem to feel that being a lesbian is something you need to feel guilty about.
The fact you're in a relationship with someone other than your roommate does complicate things. The stereotype is that most guys have an ability to separate love from sex. Maybe your boyfriend would be able to accept what you're doing with your roommate as just a physical thing and not feel threatened, but maybe he would think (as others here believe) that you have cheated on him. For me (a guy), the emotional aspect would be more important. If I was certain my girlfriend loved me and she and her roommate were basically just using each other to get off now and then when I wasn't around, that would be cool with me. I would be concerned, though, about emotional bonds being formed between the two women and how those might affect the relationship between my girlfriend and me.
The fact that you say in response to an early reply that your boyfriend would "kill you" if he learned about this is worrying. Maybe that's an exaggeration, but it sounds like he's someone with very rigid boundaries. Possibly he's very insecure. Maybe he's even controlling.
In any case, be careful about telling your boyfriend about this. He might blow you off immediately, or he might want to watch. If the latter, be very careful to set boundaries. Think about how you'd feel if your boyfriend wanted to be intimate with your roommate.
Also, think about how you'd feel if the situation was reversed: how would you feel if your boyfriend told you that he and his male roommate occasionally engaged in mutual masturbation?
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bostonpuckbunny37
6 years ago
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I really appreciate this thoughtful response. The guilt aspect has nothing to do with there being something wrong with being a lesbian, guilt was probably the wrong word.
Kill me was an exaggeration, but I don't think it is something he would find hot or be interested in and I think he would leave me. Or at least be very mad for a long time. But again I'm not sure. It's a pretty stressful situation.