After I left I had a rocky start but it eventually led to a pretty sweet life. My husband makes me feel very loved and safe. And he somehow manages to do that whilst still being polite and civil to my mother. Good guy.
Oh no. I'm so sorry, that's not a good place to be.
I'd like to tell you that I got through it by believing in myself and letting go of my need to be loved and accepted by my parents, but that's not true. I fucked countless strangers and broke people's hearts, found it difficult to maintain relationships and friendships because I didn't know how to love, and I took copious amounts of illegal drugs to numb the pain. Eventually I snapped out of self destruct mode and started to get my shit together just in time to meet my husband. He saved me. He gave me the confidence to advance in my career, do a second degree in a subject I am passionate about, and become a mother.
All I can say is try not to go too crazy on the self destructive stuff. You can reach a point of no return with that, and I was dangerously close. Maybe you're stronger than me and you haven't chosen that path.
I don't know what happened to you, but something that helped me was reminding myself every day that I'm alive. No matter what has happened in the past, I can do anything while I'm still alive.
IIN my mum called the police on me for slamming a door?
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:( so sad to hear this
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SwickDinging
4 years ago
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It's ok, I got my happy ending :)
After I left I had a rocky start but it eventually led to a pretty sweet life. My husband makes me feel very loved and safe. And he somehow manages to do that whilst still being polite and civil to my mother. Good guy.
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[Old Memory]
4 years ago
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Sounds great. I'm waiting for the rocky part to end. It's reassuring to hear you made it.
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SwickDinging
4 years ago
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Oh no. I'm so sorry, that's not a good place to be.
I'd like to tell you that I got through it by believing in myself and letting go of my need to be loved and accepted by my parents, but that's not true. I fucked countless strangers and broke people's hearts, found it difficult to maintain relationships and friendships because I didn't know how to love, and I took copious amounts of illegal drugs to numb the pain. Eventually I snapped out of self destruct mode and started to get my shit together just in time to meet my husband. He saved me. He gave me the confidence to advance in my career, do a second degree in a subject I am passionate about, and become a mother.
All I can say is try not to go too crazy on the self destructive stuff. You can reach a point of no return with that, and I was dangerously close. Maybe you're stronger than me and you haven't chosen that path.
I don't know what happened to you, but something that helped me was reminding myself every day that I'm alive. No matter what has happened in the past, I can do anything while I'm still alive.
I hope things get better for you. I really do.
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[Old Memory]
4 years ago
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Thanks. Very helpful and inspiring. Glad to hear you're doing well now.