Is it normal my ex won't do anything after graduating

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7 Comments

I'm worried about my ex, we're still close friends and chat occasionally. She was a year a head of me in college, so she's had her degree for about 18 months and has done literally nothing since.

She has had no jobs, hasn't even been looking for work in months and to my knowledge has no current plans. She's been living at home with her terrible family, and... well that's about it.

She has little opportunities for work in her town and what few exist are difficult for her to get because she hates driving.

I recommended she join the coast guard, free health care, decent pay...ect and with her degree she'd start as an officer. She said her dad is against it for fear of her safety,despite the fact it would probably be safer than living where she does now. Honestly I think she just doesn't want to do anything.

I don't really care what she does just that she does something, the longer she doesn't have work the more difficult it will be for her to get it. I don't know what to do.

Despite the fact her family treats her poorly she doesn't want to move away, she has a car but hates driving so she'd sooner not go anywhere than have to drive herself, and is making no effort to get a job while her 40 grand in student debt piles up.

Anyways is her behavior normal and does anyone have any ideas on jobs or something I can tell her.

Voting Results
50% Normal
Based on 8 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 7 )
  • Dustyair
    6 years ago

    It sounds like she may have depression.

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  • KiwiWisdom
    6 years ago

    Being lost after college is normal. If it's your ex though, it's sorta not your problem. Friend? Sure. Give advice, be a shoulder, whatever. Otherwise it's their life to sit on.

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  • MrInconceivable
    6 years ago

    My sister went through the same thing with her now ex boyfriend. If I were you (which I'm not) I'd move on people can only help themselves sure there are guides but they only help people realize that you can only make change in your life if you're willing to put in effort and if you're not willing you might as well just die.

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  • Pumpurrnickel
    6 years ago

    If she refuses to get a job, I don't think there's anything you can do.

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  • LuxM4G
    6 years ago

    I feel for you man, my girlfriend is in the same position, even though she's middle upper class, goes to show mental illness inside a family affect people of all backgrounds. She's depressed and there isn't much i can do for help expect to wait for a good outcome out of this. She's stuck with her doctor brother in the thirties who doesn't do nothing unless eating and playing video-games, her retired dad who's addicted to alcohol and her maniac depressive mother, plus her grandmother who suffers from stage four Alzheimers. They're really holding her back and now she thinks that she'll be stuck with them forever.

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  • Tealights
    6 years ago

    It's depression. There isn't much you can do for her if she's unwilling to help herself. The day she ask what can she do to get our her situation, and serious about it, is the day you can help her; until then, just be a good friend and listen to her bitch&moan, hopefully she'll get out of this soon.

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  • bubsy
    6 years ago

    Tell her that she will end up hating herself if she doesn't do anything. To be miserable is easy = don't do anything.

    She has to take on responsibility (willingly) for her life to have any meaning. And it's something she has to do by herself.

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