She sounds like a typical teenager to me, testing boundaries and wanting to be independent of her parent. Totally normal, although annoying while it lasts.
When my daughter was a teenager I got some good results by asking her if she thought it was fair that I do all the work around the place and work hard at a job I hated (cleaning) to support us both. Asking her that in a quiet respectful way instead of telling her what to do worked wonders.
I'll bet if you think about it, you'd find you yourself are more inclined to do something if you're asked rather than being ordered to.
Do you discuss the rules with her? Does she understand your financial situation? She wants to be independent while still dependent on you because of her age and this is a difficult time for everyone.
You could also try the old formula of "When you .......... (whatever it is) I feel ......... and I'd love it if you'd ........." That's no-judgmental and being clear with her about how her behavior affects you rather than judging her or bossing her around.
Good luck! Adolescence will pass, then she'll leave home and you'll miss her like hell - believe me, I know!
Oh another thought: do you do fun things together? Shopping, movies, going out for a coffee? It's hard work being a mum and hard work being a teenager: don't forget there are good things you can share and good luck!
Why should I have to accommodate for her? She already knows the rules.
I'm tired of her taking her time and sloppily cleaning when I already showed her what to do. She should do her chores no questions asked; we've been through these conversations already.
She needs to learn someday that when people ask you to do something you have to do it. If her boss asked her to do work would she still have that job if she put it off?? No.
IIN my daughter is being terribly disrespectful and whiny?
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She sounds like a typical teenager to me, testing boundaries and wanting to be independent of her parent. Totally normal, although annoying while it lasts.
When my daughter was a teenager I got some good results by asking her if she thought it was fair that I do all the work around the place and work hard at a job I hated (cleaning) to support us both. Asking her that in a quiet respectful way instead of telling her what to do worked wonders.
I'll bet if you think about it, you'd find you yourself are more inclined to do something if you're asked rather than being ordered to.
Do you discuss the rules with her? Does she understand your financial situation? She wants to be independent while still dependent on you because of her age and this is a difficult time for everyone.
You could also try the old formula of "When you .......... (whatever it is) I feel ......... and I'd love it if you'd ........." That's no-judgmental and being clear with her about how her behavior affects you rather than judging her or bossing her around.
Good luck! Adolescence will pass, then she'll leave home and you'll miss her like hell - believe me, I know!
Oh another thought: do you do fun things together? Shopping, movies, going out for a coffee? It's hard work being a mum and hard work being a teenager: don't forget there are good things you can share and good luck!
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Anonymous Post Author
6 years ago
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Why should I have to accommodate for her? She already knows the rules.
I'm tired of her taking her time and sloppily cleaning when I already showed her what to do. She should do her chores no questions asked; we've been through these conversations already.
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bob7
6 years ago
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She should do her chores no questions asked ?
She puts up the dishes an hour before doing them , but eventually does
Im 100% on the side of ur daughter , you chose to be a parent ,not a slave owner , if you wanted a slave u cant get one by giving birth to them
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She needs to learn someday that when people ask you to do something you have to do it. If her boss asked her to do work would she still have that job if she put it off?? No.