Is it normal men don't respect me?

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14 Comments

When I came to secondary, I came off as a shy awkward girl. I didn't want to talk to boys and ever want to be "dissed" or, in a more standard form of english, teased by them. They tended to harass me now and then but usually I was left a lone. Soon, I become more confident and was able to stand up to the rude little bastards. I never teased them unless they annoyed me but what has come to my mind is how they treated the "pretty" girls. Now the "pretty" girl of our class wasn't popular but fairly well-known. She was such a suck-up and had this sickly-sweetness about her that made me want to vomit. I had thought in the beginning that she was going to be the main target for the boys but quite the opposite happened. Every boy seemed to have respect for her and knew their limits around her when goofing around. But me and most of the other girls (including the popular ones) weren't given a single thought. When I got slightly upset over hurtful things they would say about me, I'd be called an attention seeker and what-not. I'm in University and unfortunately even these slightly matured males are the same. Why so? Why is that the good looking goody-two shoes get the respect she so badly does not deserve?

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Based on 18 votes (9 yes)
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Comments ( 14 )
  • Millie_the_evil_saint
    11 years ago

    It's about the way she behaves. She sets her boundaries clear and straight from the beginning. That's it: she doesn't let guys touch her (even a casual pat on the shoulder).

    Sure, that's prissy and stuck up, but that's why the guys tend to leave her alone. They know they're not getting any.

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  • asdfghjklkjhgfdsa
    11 years ago

    In my class at School the guys can be jerks. But a lot of the time (this works for me) a lot of them just want to talk to you, and annoy you if you don't. I wouldn't say ignore them, because I did that for 3 years, to no avail, but if you talk to them, most of them are pretty safe with you.

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    • Millie_the_evil_saint
      11 years ago

      Indeed. You stay nice and civil with them, but at the same time don't try to act too familiar.

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  • I_got_a_cupcake
    11 years ago

    A lot of men(I'm not saying all of them) have no respect for anyone. Just forget about them, they are idiots and if one of the idiots ask you a question or even what time it is, don't give them an answer and act busy. Tell them you'll get back to them later. I'd say in a room of 50 guys, half of them are looking for sex only(at that age definetely), another percentage are only interested in hanging with their buddys and acting stupid, and maybe 3 of them are looking for a serious relationship, and maybe only 1 or 2 look decent and not stalkerish!

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    • Millie_the_evil_saint
      11 years ago

      And...at that age... None of them are looking for a serious relationship! (those one or two decent guys are completely absorbed in their studies)

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      • I_got_a_cupcake
        11 years ago

        But maybe one of the two guys are overly obsessed with their studies, and that one guy left over is secretly looking to be in a relationship ;) I'm sure not ALL men my age have no time for women.

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      • I_got_a_cupcake
        11 years ago

        Thank God I'm gay lol

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        • Millie_the_evil_saint
          11 years ago

          XD..yeah it's funny how girls and guys sometimes have very different views on relationships... I wonder if it stays that way once they get older?

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          • I_got_a_cupcake
            11 years ago

            Yup, but hey it's just as hard for me to find a relationship with another woman. I find that guys in their 30s(maybe even 40s?) are more willing to settle down than men who are in their 20s. The sad thing is, they'll most likely go for women in my agr group...it makes women feel that they are only young for so long, 20-29? whle men are young forever. Kind of sad really...To me, you're young until you're 60+! (also depending on how healthy you look in your 50s, and my mom looks pretty good for her age lol men still hit on her)

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  • Living_Too_Late
    11 years ago

    Anime7 is right. Bullies will probe until they get a reaction that tells them they're bothering you. Try to convince yourself that their need to bully you reveals that they're weaker than you. That's why they typically act in a pack,, for mutual reassurance. If you can't master ignoring them with success,, taunt that insecurity they have. "Do you boys do EVERYTHING together? Teasing girls? You must be gay. It's OK,,, nothing to be ashamed of. Come out of your closets, you'll feel MUCH better." If that kinda thing doesn't work after a couple days, up the ante. "Look out girls, cast of Top Gun approaching!" Work on your comebacks,, be relentless,, and they'll soon tire of getting a reaction they don't want. The gay issue may not be PC, but it works on teenage boys. Also, since nobody's addressing the school's bullying problem, you can hardly be criticised for resorting to such measures.

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    • Anime7
      11 years ago

      I gotta say that was a nice insult for the bullies.

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  • Anime7
    11 years ago

    Because she's pretty and people don't want to ruin pretty things. Maybe they want to get in her pants and not being a dick is the best way to go about it. As opposed the rest of the women who aren't as attractive as her. I've dealt with bullies before and honestly the best advice I can give you is just to not give them a reaction. And please don't think that all men are like those tormentors.

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    • Millie_the_evil_saint
      11 years ago

      I don't think it's about attractiveness. It's more about attitude, really. If that pretty girl acted insecure, those guys would be all over her. They wouldn't try to be nice to her. They'd "Break the cutie".

      You're right about that part: "the best advice I can give you is just to not give them a reaction."

      In the end, it is all about attitude.

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      • Anime7
        11 years ago

        Ya you're probably right about the attitude. But the OP said that she's a goody two shoes and those people usually get picked on a lot. Maybe these boys respect that about her.

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