Is it normal im considering freinds with benifits

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I have been having self esteem issues lately. Before I had a pet which calmed my nerves. Any time I was feeling sad I'd hug him and think "this is my child and he loves me, I must protect him". How I felt with it otherwise was dating or making out with random strangers at parties. Now I have become so indifferent I can't really focus hard enough to try for a partner. As well as my current mental state being so damaged I can't function well enough to let anyone in. My pet was a very stabilizing factor. Now I'm back to self destructive behavior.

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Based on 6 votes
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Comments ( 10 )
  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    A friend with benefits will not solve your problem, dude.

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  • Justmehere
    6 years ago

    Friends with benefits can work well, as long as you both understand this is the deal and don't get too emotionally involved. I've had several, including one now, who I see very occasionally. She's a petite, slender blonde, very pretty, wild in bed, and has a perfect "we only have sex" attitude, which is fine with me. Really does work well with her.

    Another, though..My friend and former business associate, was a little different. We started up with each other b/c spent so much time together, and, since most people we knew thought we were having sex anyway, one day said "They all think we are anyway..We may as well get a room and fuck like animals". Went great for the most part, but then..She started saying things like "When we go shopping", and, if drove past a house (one in particular she really loved), comment on how she'd decorate for the holidays and "Make you coffee with cinnamon". Was getting too relationshippy and as if she was making plans for an "us" that we didn't agree on.

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  • LuxM4G
    6 years ago

    Friends with benefits it's okay, for as long as neither of you falls in love, then you'll have a possible mess in your hands.

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  • snoopmoth
    6 years ago

    I'm sorry to hear that. I'm not sure what kind of advice you're looking for, but you're obviously not in a good place. Focus on bettering your mental state before thinking about relationships. Reach out to friends maybe, or go to therapy.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      6 years ago

      I have always been in this place. I guess I'm what some would call damaged. I also am notorious for being super indifferent to my partners. However I know how to tease them and follow the protocol of the normal dating rituals. So often it seems I'm a wonderful charming, loving partner. However I'm usually so out of touch with my emotions I often don't know what they look like.

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      • snoopmoth
        6 years ago

        Have you ever been to therapy? You don't have to date anyone and you probably shouldn't if you don't feel anything for them.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          6 years ago

          I just date them because it helps with self esteem and gives me an outlet. To calm down I use sexual activity, affection or violence. My pet was very affectionate and calmed me but is no longer with me. I'm also into BDSM which would fall under violence but it's often hard finding a suitable partner.

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          • snoopmoth
            6 years ago

            Have you thought about getting another pet?

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              6 years ago

              I have but my current living situation we can not keep pets here. You think it would fix things?

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