Is it normal if i still want to have sex with him?
So my dude and I have been in a really confusing stage but cause we are ending things yet we're still hanging out and making the best of it for all the time we have left since I'm moving back home which is like 2 hrs away. He broke my heart and it is the first time for me sooo it really sucks feeling this way. I guess the reason why it sucks so much and hurts so much this time is because I really loved him and seriously when they say you're with someone and everything disappears, its true when you really like someone. So for me, he was my everything regardless of the many times he hurt my feelings. But we talked it over which gave me a huge peace of mind and now know where we stand. I was happy after everything, he ended being the one to contact me to talk and he said "because he cares." It meant a lot especially knowing him and his lack of effort. He definitely grew the balls that night to make a move and not me. But although we talked and he apologized a few times and expressed himself, I still look at him like "you bastard, you don't know how hard you ripped my heart and just left all the pieces on the ground." I am trying to not let myself go to him again as much as I want to kiss him, give him affection, and be there for him. I wanna take care of him so bad but its like why? He doesn't deserve it. It all comes down to sex, too. At first I was like hell no I genuinely don't feel like having sex with him. But as we kept hanging out, he was putting more effort and just reminded me why I liked him in the first place and eventually started feeling a little horny, but not like in a gross way just in a real, passionate way. He was kind of making a move on me but I kept rejecting it. I was like this is the right thing to do but do I really not want to have sex with him? I am moving and I want to have sex with him one last time and make it amazing like we're wrapping this whole thing up and signifying how much it meant. Plus, our sex was amazing. I only had sex with him even if he wasn't my official bf because I felt like I was his and it felt good. You know you love someone when he/she is the only person you wanna have sex with even if you're both single. But does he deserve it? Definitely not. But does my heart, even though its hurting, want to? Yes. But my mind is saying no and at this point my mind is winning. But I don't want to regret not doing it with him especially I'm moving and who knows if I'll see him again. Yet I don't want to have sex with him and throughout the whole thing, I'm thinking, wow he doesn't deserve this but I like it...and later I regret giving him all of me again. I have like 2 weeks left but we're both pretty busy so idk how much time I have left to decide should I have sex with him or not? and is this normal?