Is it normal i wish humans didn’t have to relieve themselves?

Build a toilet into each and every seat, problem solved.

How's your fiber intake.

There is a simple answer. Just stop eating and drinking and you will also stop the natural effects of those.

You might wish to consider the benefits of being able to relieve yourself; but, whatever you do is your option.

Are you a dude? Idk what the science is, but dudes take forever to shit. Most women I know just take a few minutes.

I mean I don't mind peeing. It usually feels good even. But if I never had to take a shit again if be very happy. Constipation problems gone. Never needing to do an enema before s fun night out again gone. So uh where do I sign?

"when I do I’m usually in there for a long time. I feel like so much of my life has been wasted in the bathroom"

Your plight does not fall on deaf ears, it takes me about 40 minutes to take a shit.