Hey OP, I know exactly how you feel. I used to be just like you. I was giving myself stomach cramps out of anxiety and holding it in because of my fear. It's natural. You're going to do it for the rest of your life, as will all human beings. Don't make yourself sick. The best thing to do is to not think about it, because it's mostly the fear of what others will think that is paralyzing you, and that fear is one YOU are creating, and the feelings are created BY YOU and therefore completely in your control. You can't control pooping or not pooping, just like you can't control breathing or not breathing. But you *ARE* in control of your emotions. Always. Remember that for life.
Now, as to HOW to do that, I have a list of things you can actively do to reduce and eliminate your fears. Shifting your focus from your fear to actively working on it's eradication will greatly aid you in getting over this. Here's what worked for me:
1.) First, tell yourself to relax. Take a deep breath. Remember: Everybody does it, it's a natural body function, and one of the things that is normal and expected for people to do when they're in the bathroom.
2.) Carry around and, when you're preparing to poop, put on and wear headphones connected to a music playing device like an iPod or even your digital recorder that you used for lecture notes - anything that blocks out sound enough so you can listen to music that relaxes you, and you can forget where you are and any and all anxiety, and not be distracted by someone coming in, or "knowing" someone is just outside the door or whatever. You'll feel better and be done sooner. Just don't sing along, or you'll be a whole different kind of embarrassed.
3. In case you don't have headphones or something, cover your ears and silently recite your favorite song from memory (so your lips are moving but you are making no sound at all). See if you can remember all the words, the right rhythm, etc. The point is, you are relaxing and distracting yourself.
4. If you are embarrassed for the sounds or the smell, make sure when seated you know exactly where the flusher is. When you're just about to drop it, start the flush so the sound of flushing will cover the splashdown sound, and take the poop away right away. This minimizes smell, mess, and saves water. (As opposed to flushing continuously/often/unnecessarily - but feel free to do that as well if it helps, and slowly taper off the frequency of flushes as you get more comfortable and more used to being able to coordinate the flush with the poop.) A lot of people don't flush right after each one, and just sit there until they're done, or have dropped a few first. This is what I have to say about that, and it is for *everyone* who poops, not just those who have a fear of doing so, so I'm separating it out for a moment:
*NOTE to EVERYONE: PLEASE flush after each piece drops, as soon as possible, even if you're not embarrassed at all or the smell doesn't bother you, definitely if you're in a public restroom, and especially if you're at someone else's home. Letting the "brown" mellow, especially in a bathroom other people use or come near, is quite disgusting to most people. It creates a stinky stew, and makes it much more difficult to clean because of the time the stew spends ruminating in the bowl. Flushing often gives the offending stain-makers little to no time to do any olfactory or visual damage.* (This doesn't apply if you are in financial straits where the water bill is an issue, etc.)
Also, focusing on the coordination of the drop and flush will take your mind off your fear.
5. Carry a travel-sized air freshening spray with you, not just perfume or one that just covers the smell, but one that actively destroys the smell as well, like Lysol (the linen-scented one) which is antibacterial, or Ozium (can be commonly found in drugstores and/or auto parts shops if you have a problem locating it, and it's usually comes in a travel size). It's best to get it in a neutral scent like linen, rather than a harsh or flowery one. Spray a little bit when you are all cleaned up and ready to leave the toilet.
6. Check the bowl after your final flush to make sure there's no "skidmarks". If there are, it's up to you to clean it if you want (I definitely would if there were people who knew I was the last one in the guest/public bathroom).
7. Always wash your hands and make sure you are presenting yourself as hygenic, clean and sanitary. This will make you more confident overall.
Good luck, and take heart. Someday, sooner than you think, you will get over this fear, just keep looking at it as something you're working through/toward, like when you work out or exercise.
IIN I want to get past my fear of pooping in public?
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Hey OP, I know exactly how you feel. I used to be just like you. I was giving myself stomach cramps out of anxiety and holding it in because of my fear. It's natural. You're going to do it for the rest of your life, as will all human beings. Don't make yourself sick. The best thing to do is to not think about it, because it's mostly the fear of what others will think that is paralyzing you, and that fear is one YOU are creating, and the feelings are created BY YOU and therefore completely in your control. You can't control pooping or not pooping, just like you can't control breathing or not breathing. But you *ARE* in control of your emotions. Always. Remember that for life.
Now, as to HOW to do that, I have a list of things you can actively do to reduce and eliminate your fears. Shifting your focus from your fear to actively working on it's eradication will greatly aid you in getting over this. Here's what worked for me:
1.) First, tell yourself to relax. Take a deep breath. Remember: Everybody does it, it's a natural body function, and one of the things that is normal and expected for people to do when they're in the bathroom.
2.) Carry around and, when you're preparing to poop, put on and wear headphones connected to a music playing device like an iPod or even your digital recorder that you used for lecture notes - anything that blocks out sound enough so you can listen to music that relaxes you, and you can forget where you are and any and all anxiety, and not be distracted by someone coming in, or "knowing" someone is just outside the door or whatever. You'll feel better and be done sooner. Just don't sing along, or you'll be a whole different kind of embarrassed.
3. In case you don't have headphones or something, cover your ears and silently recite your favorite song from memory (so your lips are moving but you are making no sound at all). See if you can remember all the words, the right rhythm, etc. The point is, you are relaxing and distracting yourself.
4. If you are embarrassed for the sounds or the smell, make sure when seated you know exactly where the flusher is. When you're just about to drop it, start the flush so the sound of flushing will cover the splashdown sound, and take the poop away right away. This minimizes smell, mess, and saves water. (As opposed to flushing continuously/often/unnecessarily - but feel free to do that as well if it helps, and slowly taper off the frequency of flushes as you get more comfortable and more used to being able to coordinate the flush with the poop.) A lot of people don't flush right after each one, and just sit there until they're done, or have dropped a few first. This is what I have to say about that, and it is for *everyone* who poops, not just those who have a fear of doing so, so I'm separating it out for a moment:
*NOTE to EVERYONE: PLEASE flush after each piece drops, as soon as possible, even if you're not embarrassed at all or the smell doesn't bother you, definitely if you're in a public restroom, and especially if you're at someone else's home. Letting the "brown" mellow, especially in a bathroom other people use or come near, is quite disgusting to most people. It creates a stinky stew, and makes it much more difficult to clean because of the time the stew spends ruminating in the bowl. Flushing often gives the offending stain-makers little to no time to do any olfactory or visual damage.* (This doesn't apply if you are in financial straits where the water bill is an issue, etc.)
Also, focusing on the coordination of the drop and flush will take your mind off your fear.
5. Carry a travel-sized air freshening spray with you, not just perfume or one that just covers the smell, but one that actively destroys the smell as well, like Lysol (the linen-scented one) which is antibacterial, or Ozium (can be commonly found in drugstores and/or auto parts shops if you have a problem locating it, and it's usually comes in a travel size). It's best to get it in a neutral scent like linen, rather than a harsh or flowery one. Spray a little bit when you are all cleaned up and ready to leave the toilet.
6. Check the bowl after your final flush to make sure there's no "skidmarks". If there are, it's up to you to clean it if you want (I definitely would if there were people who knew I was the last one in the guest/public bathroom).
7. Always wash your hands and make sure you are presenting yourself as hygenic, clean and sanitary. This will make you more confident overall.
Good luck, and take heart. Someday, sooner than you think, you will get over this fear, just keep looking at it as something you're working through/toward, like when you work out or exercise.