Is it normal i want to die in a few years?

You sir, are in what we call a pit of depression. If you want something to change you have to go out and do it yourself. Start with seeking professional medical help, also see a psychologist, speak to your mother about your issues (I'm sure she cares enough about you to help), and then for pete's sake leave the house and join some kind of social activity - I don't care what, join a bowling team, just do something and meet people.

If you need money, get a job, if it's hard to get a job then try harder. If you can't find a job go on welfare and then save that welfare so you can move to a different city and find a job there.

The change starts with you.

Life is what you make it ...go out and change it ..it all depends on your choices and dont be so hard on yourself i think everyone has been through this stage in their life at some time or another

Seek help from nearby people. You might have to start with low income job and learning new things alongside can give you better income later.Think which services you can give to people right now and look for vacancies in cities as well.

You need to move out. After that, join a club, go out at least once a week. I know the social anxiety can make it hard, but you gotta try.

You should probably move out of the poor town then to find better jobs out because there are better ones out there than some poor town out in the middle of nowhere.

It could be worse.

I work and I don't find it pleasant.

Stay strong and don't give up. You got this

You hate yourself because you don't do anything. Focus on what you're afraid to do, let that fear guide your decisions.

Well if you are white, go to north Philadelphia. Your life will end real quick. Up there they believe no white life matters.

Theres always hope don't use a permanent solution to solve a temporary problem. Suicide effects all your friends and family in a devastating way don't do that to them.