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I have:
No friends
No family
No acquaintances
No job
No money
No home
No prospects
No girlfriend
No online friends
I have absolutely no conceivable reason to live. Why on earth am I here. I seriously feel like I am in hell. No matter what I do my life never gets any better.
Why won't someone or God put me out of my misery??
I'm in a similar situation but as long as I'm alive I will keep the faith.
How do you manage to do that? You have a lot more faith in something than I do.
If your faith is in God then how do you manage it. When I go without food for a week, have no where to go, no one to turn to, and problems continue piling up, just what is God trying to do for me?
Hi mate. Sorry for the late reply.
I mean faith in yourself. Try to have positive thoughts even if things are tough. Meditate and ideas will pop up in your head. That's what I've been doing.
I have no siblings or partner but I believe no one is alone.
There's some cosmic power watching over us that wants us to overcome our difficulties.
I will be sending you my best vibes. Please don't give up.
If there is a cosmic power it's actively trying to keep me down. Every time I make a tiny bit of headway it gets taken away and then some and i end up even worse off.
Thanks for the good vibes.
It got chilly last night. A reminder that winter will be here soon. I don't want to do this another winter.
Be strong and stay strong, brother.
God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiers.
You don't refuse to feed your best soldiers, make them sleep out in the rain and cold and continuosly shit on them when they do something positive. That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
Hell if thats the case take all your best employees, cut their salary in half and make them work twice as many hours. Shit they can handle it. They're strong.
I'm sorry for your pain, brother, no one should go through this. I understand pain and suffering makes us stronger but sometimes it's too much.
I know how are you feeling... I've been through many horrible things in life too and still suffering and God is not helping me either. You need to believe in yourself and trust yourself.
You and only you can put yourself out of misery. Just don't lose hope. You're strong enough to fight through all this.
To bring other people into your desire to die tradgicly is selfish. You keep asking for someone to put you out so the blame won't be out on you for doing it. I'm a strong believer in the right to death, but that's on you to decide.
Regardless my question is more to the point of this:
If no one can stand to be around me, if no one wants me to work for them other than for a day or two, if I can't rent from anyone I'm pretty much no use to anyone or anything. So then, why the fuck keep me around? What's the point?
There is a modicum of truth to what you say in that I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself. I don't think I keep asking others to do it for me though.
Asking to be put out of misery can also mean let me escape this hellish nightmare I live in. IE. a job, a place to stay etc...
I've made zero progress in two years. Everyone, everyone needs a break every once in a while but this has been relentless. Hence my thought I might be in hell already and just not know it.
I know how you feel, but God isn't going to help you. He's not real. And if you kill yourself, you'll cease existing. Forever. Everything good that could possibly happen to you will have a 0% chance of occurring. You cannot possibly imagine what it is like to stop being alive. When one thinks of suicide or wishes their own death, they might think of it as getting free from your problems. But what it really is, is getting free from consciousness. Your life may be awful, but is it really so bad that it'd be better to throw away your ability to move, speak, and think?
I imagine death is much like before birth. There are days this sounds preferrable.
More to the point if I have a reason for living its not at all obvious. I'm not suicidal I just can't grasp what point there is for me existing.
If you exist, there is a chance things could get better. If you're dead then there is no hope for improvement.
As for the point of your existence, I'm sure someone in your life would be utterly heartbroken if you died.
Well, since no one alive knows 100% for sure what happens after death, I don't think you can say there is no hope. In fact, some days, just the alleviation of the misery, even if replaced with nothingness, is an improvement.
No one in my life would be heartbroken. There is no one. Anyone who would claim such a thing would be a drama queen looking for attention. No one wohld even know I was gone.
Why not just leave? If you're just doing day-at-a-time gigs you can probably find that anywhere. Time for a change of scenery if there's nothing left for you in the place you're at. The poverty isn't a problem, seems like the lack of people around you is the issue.
I guess several things are keeping me from leaving. The main one being gas money and also go where and for what? If offered a job I would leave.
The other things keeping me where I am:
1. After a few years homeless i have found safe places to park and sleep where drug addicts, alcoholics and cops don't bother me and I feel relatively safe. This was harder than it sounds.
2. Day labor is steady here and there are a number of foreman and site supervisors who request me. Although none will take a chance and give me a job. Are they taking advantage of me, of course they are.
3. I live in an area where access to a comminunity pool(for showers) library (computers, power and warmth in winter), starbucks (for toilets, power and basic washing), laundromat, dollar store and cheap grocery store, and day labor office is all within 3 blocks saving me time and gas. Yes I could potentially find all these basic services elsewhere but again why?
I agree changes are needed to increase the odds of a lucky break but when living on the fringes change is increadibly risky. What have I got to lose. Not much. But without any reason to believe a gain would be forthcoming, why take unnecessary risk?
Well this all makes sense. If you want to take this seriously it seems that avoiding "drug addicts, alcoholics, and homeless people, is a symptom of alienating yourself from the people around you. I personally live under the assumption that there's a friend around every corner. Once in a while, there really is.
What is it that you really want, that would bring you happiness? Houses, jobs, etc., are all peripheral. If you have a place to sleep, and can meet your basic needs on a year-round basis, you have a lot of stuff figured out. Would you rather be worried about what puppet represents your political area, or other nonsense like that? You should be proud of yourself for being able to survive the way you do. Plenty of people can't make it work.
Most people who are ignorant about situations like this will suggest you to a shelter or to join programs for people who can't take care of yourself. This doesn't seem to be at all a problem for you, these are the same people who'd just recommend you get a "better job" or something anyway. It sounds like you're isolating yourself because you're scared people will judge you. Don't listen to barney. Talk to strangers. A little situational awareness and you meet cool people in parks and train stations.
Wishing good things for you, friend. You need to give yourself more credit for what you're good at, you seem like a cool person.
I avoid those people because they attract attention from authorities. My goal is to get out of this mess unscathed but it's amazingly difficult when sleeping is illegal. My existance is actually illegal.
But anyway, I don't think alcoholics, addicts and other homeless are bad people and they probably could offer a lot of support but i can't risk it.
I may be taking the wrong approach though because the loneliness might kill me before I escape these circumstances.
Loneliness is worse than hanging with the "wrong" people, any day of anyone's life. Just as drugs and alcohol are better than dying.
Do you live in an area that's particularly harsh to homelessness? You should look into rules regarding sleeping in vehicles in the area. Know your rights, definitely. Depending on your area police will harass you more or less. You know the situation better than I do in terms of this.
Isolating yourself isn't healthy, that's always been my opinion. Who gives a fuck if you live in a car or do day labor or even collect cans for a living. That's not who you are, it's just a living. Barney was lying when he said talking to strangers was bad, you just need some situational awareness. Don't go hang out with guys tweaking in an alley if thats not your thing, just talk to people. If you talk to 100 people, you'll meet at least a few friends.
And for the record, if you aren't visible sleeping in a vehicle from the outside, cops can knock all day and they can't prove anyone's in there.
i dint get all those things untill i was 40. all that takes work several; divorces many jobs and you only have it as long as you can keep it. nothing is permanent.
Once there was a time when I could have helped you, but they destroyed my life too.
My best advice is to head to Florida or Texas.
There are plenty of work opportunities available to you, and who knows, you might meet someone while you are there.
At least the winter will be warm there, if there's no-one to keep you warm.
I don't want handouts but i appreciate the sentiment.
I thought of texas but it would take more in gas money than I am able to save at any given time. It's a great idea and if I could get on with someone who would pay my way down I'd do it in a flash.
Money talks, bullshit walks.
Tell them that you want to work, and help others. Cash up-front (at least for starters).
Do good work (build a solid reputation).
Don't scam anyone, except known scamsters, fraudsters, do-nothing smooth-talkers, fly-by-night operators & the like.
Don't fall victim yourself to scamsters, fraudsters, do-nothing smooth-talkers, fly-by-night operators & the like.
Don't work for anyone (employment-wise) who doesn't do a fair share of the work themselves. Work only for reputable companies.
Figure out how much you are making now, double-the-price (for starters). If they complain that the price is too high, double-the-price again, and spread it through your network. Soon they will stop whining and complaining about everything. Watch the labor market; the more valuable labor is, the higher the price. Don't volunteer your valuable labor skills. Watch out that you are not being undercut by scab-laborers (fuck them over somehow).
Network with other workers that you meet. Lower the price ONLY for people who are 'in on' your network, and who are 'in need'. Remember that you will need support staff in your network, as well.
Don't do any work for police-criminals, or for anyone who supports criminal-police scumbags. Walk away from it.
If you need help in making a fraudster, scamster, do-nothing smooth-talker, fly-by-night operator or the like, into a 'hurricane victim', ask for 'divine intervention'. Follow through on this; that the 'good work' was done somehow. If not, look elsewhere. Don't be complacent.
Stay on friendly terms with other networks, for the betterment of all. Otherwise the scum comes right back again.
Do what you know is right, not what you think is right. If you don't know, find out (ask someone who knows). Don't do what you are told to do if it doesn't seem right (research, gain knowledge & skills). The more practical skills you have, the higher the price. Do things better (innovate). Don't do anything, if you don't know what you are doing. Do things that other people aren't already doing, but what needs to be done. Make positive changes for the benefit of everyone.
Always look for new and better opportunities.
Don't forget about the farmers. We all need to eat, and they need help!
Don't become one of 'them' yourself!
The more responsibility you take on voluntarily, the richer your life will be. Responsibility is the meaning of life, and it's about time you take responsibility for your future self.
You have within you the power to pull out of poverty and whatever other problems that come your way. Humor me and watch this video for half an hour:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7YKP82b1hM
I made over 6 figures until cancer and a major accident took me out mate. Just because someone is homeless doesnt mean they are irresponsible. Life sometimes stacks more than yyou can recover from. Try not being so judgemental. Maybe learn the phrase "There but for the grace of God, go I."
Just in case ur telling the truth (considering u were able to post this with ur phone or computer and internet:
Be strong. I know some people who had the same situation as u. Kids as young as 8 (orphans, to be precise, victims of natural disasters etc.) First step is probably to get a job and earn even just a little bit money just to help u get by. Start from there and eventually it'll become better and you'll meet people from ur workplace or whatever, who will become part of ur life. Good luck:)
I work almost evèry day I just don't have a job. I do that day labor stuff where you have to line up at 5:30am and get sent to a job for the day. You make just enough to pay for food, gas and yes a $30 a cell phone, which is basically my only outlet to the world and onlu thing keeping me sane.
Don't even try to say I'm a troll just because you can't comprehend poverty in America.
I've been doing that for 2 years now and no it's not gettig better. It's slowly getting worse.
I'm sorry if I was a bit cynical earlier. Anyway, I genuinely hope things will get better. Like u said, it's really bad right now, but I know for a fact it's not gonna be like that forever. I get the feeling that ure a strong person because even tho, ure going through a difficult time, u still push urself to wake up everyday. And that's something not everybody can do on their own. Something I couldnt do on my own back then. Just have patience and think positive. It's all worth it in the end, I promise:)
Your not a troll. Trolls try to piss people off. They don't fish for sympathy. I don't believe you. I have lived the life you are describing, worse even. You don't sound like someone who is suffering in the way you describe. You also seem to have a problem keeping your story straight. Tell the truth and maybe someone can help you.
How do you know OP isn't on the streets because they are a compulsive liar or because they have a mental illness that prevents them from seeing life clearly. I haven't seen inconsistant statements. Even if there were they don't seem to have any agenda here.
Because I happened to have been a homeless person who still has a mental illness.
"When I go without food for a week" but yet he still has a cellphone? He has a car? He has gas and money for insurance? He as access to a Starbucks but goes without eating for a week? You just dumpster dive. I've done it. McDonalds not Starbucks but still. You can get online at the library.
He needed to have "suicide by cop" explained to him. Anyone who is truly suicidal has this form cross his mind at least once.
He admits to living in America. "Don't even try to say I'm a troll just because you can't comprehend poverty in America." Now unless he is an illegal immigrant, which I doubt since he "made over 6 figures until cancer and a major accident took me out" he can get some form of public assistance.
And his initial post He basically said he had no friends three times. Family came after friends on his list? Come on.
I don't want sympathy. I am using this site as a way to get my feelings out since I have no one to talk to and don't feel like going bat shit insane. I don't give a fuck about any people like you who have decided to judge the validity of my circumstances. It won't change where I sleep tonight.
I am curious tho. Do you walk around irl calling people fake and liars?
So basically you're the troll both here and in your every day life. Do you get your ass kicked a lot?
I'm not OP but I've been in similar circumstances. I've lived in my car and worked day labor, not for years on end but still. If he works for the place I did you have to have a cell phone. Having a cell phone and access to work pretty much trumps food because you can go hungry but cant go without work. It costs what $20 for a phone.
I think maybe you are the liar. You've obviously never been in a starbucks. Half the people there don't order anything. They sit there all day.
I could dismantle everything you use as proof of lies but whats the point. You are an admitted troll. Making fun of suicidal homeless people no less. Damn dude. Sucks to be as pathetic as you.