Is it normal i told off needy coworker?

I have this really annoying coworker who on one end can be very helpful. However, is also super needy and needs attention ALL THE TIME. This coworker is also 20 years older than me but I feel like I am more mentally/emotionally mature than them. They try to make freinds with everyone in the office but if you say no to hanging out they go on about how you are hurting thier feelings.

Example: John we should totally hang out after work for drinks
John: Cant, I have early morning shift tommarow and I need sleep. I got to go. Sorry mate
Them: You know you are really being a jerk right now. How can you hurt my feelings like this? What do you have to say for yourself? You know you need to try being a kinder person and getting drinks with me".

I finally snapped at them and told them nobody cares about thier feelings and they acing like a needy little kid and needs to leave people alone. So they tried to continue "You know thats really messed up" and I continued until they decided to shut up and stop talking.

I am wondering if this was unprofessional, but they literally been doing this for weeks and did not understand when we said "NO" the first few times. They do this to every single coworker.

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 4 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • It was unprofessional, but so is this coworker's behavior. Constantly harassing colleagues to be a part your personal life, whether that's platonic friendship or something romantic, is incredibly inappropriate. Sadly, it sounds like a harsh, but clear response is what your coworker needed to hear. Sounds like it finally got the message across and hopefully it clicks that you're not the only person who feels this way

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  • Wow - the example you gave sounds manipulative on their part. There are other ways of dealing with it than the way you did that might have been more civil and given you some better results, but that situation you were in certainly doesn't sound pretty. I don't envy you one bit. It is hard to believe that someone wouldn't change the way they spoke to people if they knew it bothered them, but people who use their own emotions to blackmail or persuade often seem to have a kind of dysfunction that's hard-wired into them, in their assumptions about themselves and other people. What you see in the way they interact with you, I think, is only the tip of a very large iceberg. Even if you could 'bash' the tip off the iceberg, you'd still be left with the rest of the iceberg.

    Also, sorry to sound like a language-obsessed a-hole but I do love that we can imagine your accent by the way you write 'on one end' and 'tommarow'.

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  • It was fine that you told him off. He was being clingy and was attempting to guilt you. Two undesirable qualities. Work life and personal life should be kept separate.

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  • It was unprofessional, what if they have a learning disability that makes them socially impaired? Also the only thing I agree with is that someone older can be less mature than someone younger like age has nothing to do with how mature you really are.

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