Well, thanks to modern day freedom of choice, you can choose to do whatever you want, so if it’s what you want to do, then be a stay at home mom.
I think the western worlds approach to feminism is a lot different than where I’m at. Under the USSR a lot of women worked in very high end and well educated careers, being a stay at home mom was hardly an option. Now, under our new freedoms, many women are now able to choose to focus more on motherhood. I’ve heard western women snark at this newer trend for us, that the major decline in the number of women in our STEM programs is “reverse feminism” but it isn’t, they just now have a choice in the matter.
The beauty of modern freedom is the ability to choose, and being privileged enough to live somewhere where you aren’t forced to work your fingers to the bone to survive.
I support your decision to stay at home and dedicate your hours to raising your children, but I don’t like that you’re trying to make this a societal standard.
I never actually said I stay home and dedicate my hours to raising children. I work 30 hours a week but I finish work at 3pm in time to pick my younger children up from school. I do however do all the housework and as they have got older I have given my 2 daughters household chores to do. The older one (13) is responsible for cleaning the family bathroom twice a week, changing her bedding once a week, vacuuming all the bedrooms twice a week, help with cooking dinner 3 nights a week and help clearing up after dinner 2 nights a week. The younger one (8) helps with preparing dinner 2 nights a week, dusting the living room once a week and helps clear up after dinner 3 nights a week. They both know they get these chores because they are girls and will need to learn these skills for adult life. All my children are responsible for keeping their rooms tidy and I check them frequently but my 2 sons aged 9 and 11 don’t have any of the other chores my daughters have. I don’t expect my sons or husband to do housework and I am proud of this. I aim to have dinner on the table shortly after my husband comes in from work and when we have eaten I clear up with the help of one of my daughters.
Don’t like the idea of gendered chores. You know it’s very likely your sons will live alone for a while in their young adult lives between moving out from home and settling down right? How do you expect them to care for themselves?
I think you’re raising incapable sons this way, and I think your daughters will soon resent you.
I believe you should raise your children to be self sustaining, prepare them to be successful on their own and respectful of themselves.
However way they decide to split responsibilities between their spouse and children is up to them at a later time.
Yes I realise not everyone agrees with the way I do things but the boys do have their jobs to do as well. They put the bins out on dustman day and put them back that night, they wash both cars once a week and clean the house windows once a month, they are responsible for cutting the grass in summer and clearing the weeds. They are also taught to respect all females, they will offer their seat to a lady if she doesn’t have one and that includes their sisters, they will take care of any lifting and moving heavy objects and carry shopping in from the car. 2 years ago I caught the boys disrespecting their sisters they were making fun of them doing their chores. Their punishment they were grounded for the entire summer holiday (6 weeks) and were made to wear girls clothes right down to their underwear and do all their sisters chores plus their own jobs for the whole summer. The girls got 6 weeks off.
That’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. Making your children cross dress as a punishment. You just taught them that their punishment was that they had to be like their sisters.
With that logic you’re literally admitting that being your daughter is equal to punishment.
I disagree my sons learnt a hard lesson but they now know how to treat a lady. They stand up and open doors for me and their sisters and any female that comes to the house, they know they are also expected to do this when they are out in public and know the consequences if I find out that they don’t. They will always stand aside for us and offer their seat. I don’t care if one of them has to stand or sit on the floor so their younger sister has a chair to sit on. They also have their rooms checked by their sisters sometimes and if either of the girls considers it has not been kept tidy to her standards they will obey her wishes and tidy it properly. During social and family times together the boys are expected to treat the girls as if they are on a pedestal. And I’m delighted to say they do. We are a simple white middle class English family, nothing special, I raise my children this way as it is how me and my 2 brothers were raised. Some may think it is wrong but my girls will be well prepared to raise their own families and my boys are courteous young gentlemen a rare quality in young men these days
Yeah. The hard lesson was they had to live the life you make your daughters live.
I just hope you don’t give your girls a hard time when they ultimately choose to not live their life the way you want them too.
IIN I think we should bring back old fashion values
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Well, thanks to modern day freedom of choice, you can choose to do whatever you want, so if it’s what you want to do, then be a stay at home mom.
I think the western worlds approach to feminism is a lot different than where I’m at. Under the USSR a lot of women worked in very high end and well educated careers, being a stay at home mom was hardly an option. Now, under our new freedoms, many women are now able to choose to focus more on motherhood. I’ve heard western women snark at this newer trend for us, that the major decline in the number of women in our STEM programs is “reverse feminism” but it isn’t, they just now have a choice in the matter.
The beauty of modern freedom is the ability to choose, and being privileged enough to live somewhere where you aren’t forced to work your fingers to the bone to survive.
I support your decision to stay at home and dedicate your hours to raising your children, but I don’t like that you’re trying to make this a societal standard.
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3 years ago
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I never actually said I stay home and dedicate my hours to raising children. I work 30 hours a week but I finish work at 3pm in time to pick my younger children up from school. I do however do all the housework and as they have got older I have given my 2 daughters household chores to do. The older one (13) is responsible for cleaning the family bathroom twice a week, changing her bedding once a week, vacuuming all the bedrooms twice a week, help with cooking dinner 3 nights a week and help clearing up after dinner 2 nights a week. The younger one (8) helps with preparing dinner 2 nights a week, dusting the living room once a week and helps clear up after dinner 3 nights a week. They both know they get these chores because they are girls and will need to learn these skills for adult life. All my children are responsible for keeping their rooms tidy and I check them frequently but my 2 sons aged 9 and 11 don’t have any of the other chores my daughters have. I don’t expect my sons or husband to do housework and I am proud of this. I aim to have dinner on the table shortly after my husband comes in from work and when we have eaten I clear up with the help of one of my daughters.
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[Old Memory]
3 years ago
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Don’t like the idea of gendered chores. You know it’s very likely your sons will live alone for a while in their young adult lives between moving out from home and settling down right? How do you expect them to care for themselves?
I think you’re raising incapable sons this way, and I think your daughters will soon resent you.
I believe you should raise your children to be self sustaining, prepare them to be successful on their own and respectful of themselves.
However way they decide to split responsibilities between their spouse and children is up to them at a later time.
--
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3 years ago
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Yes I realise not everyone agrees with the way I do things but the boys do have their jobs to do as well. They put the bins out on dustman day and put them back that night, they wash both cars once a week and clean the house windows once a month, they are responsible for cutting the grass in summer and clearing the weeds. They are also taught to respect all females, they will offer their seat to a lady if she doesn’t have one and that includes their sisters, they will take care of any lifting and moving heavy objects and carry shopping in from the car. 2 years ago I caught the boys disrespecting their sisters they were making fun of them doing their chores. Their punishment they were grounded for the entire summer holiday (6 weeks) and were made to wear girls clothes right down to their underwear and do all their sisters chores plus their own jobs for the whole summer. The girls got 6 weeks off.
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That’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever heard. Making your children cross dress as a punishment. You just taught them that their punishment was that they had to be like their sisters.
With that logic you’re literally admitting that being your daughter is equal to punishment.
How depressing.
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I disagree my sons learnt a hard lesson but they now know how to treat a lady. They stand up and open doors for me and their sisters and any female that comes to the house, they know they are also expected to do this when they are out in public and know the consequences if I find out that they don’t. They will always stand aside for us and offer their seat. I don’t care if one of them has to stand or sit on the floor so their younger sister has a chair to sit on. They also have their rooms checked by their sisters sometimes and if either of the girls considers it has not been kept tidy to her standards they will obey her wishes and tidy it properly. During social and family times together the boys are expected to treat the girls as if they are on a pedestal. And I’m delighted to say they do. We are a simple white middle class English family, nothing special, I raise my children this way as it is how me and my 2 brothers were raised. Some may think it is wrong but my girls will be well prepared to raise their own families and my boys are courteous young gentlemen a rare quality in young men these days
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Yeah. The hard lesson was they had to live the life you make your daughters live.
I just hope you don’t give your girls a hard time when they ultimately choose to not live their life the way you want them too.
So you teach your kids to be sissies? That's what I'm catching