Is it normal i think my bf is literally insane but i love him

I don't really want to get too into the details but I'm pretty sure my bf is mentally ill in some way that kind of worries me. Not talking physically abusive, he is actually very sweet and nice person towards me, but some issues make it difficult to tell whether it is a good idea to stay. is it normal ? We are actually working on it but couldn't really stand to be apart completely.

Is It Normal?
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  • He still deserves love ♡ wish you guys good luck :)

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  • What are the behaviors that concern you and how are you both "working on it"?

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    • Well he is very insecure and gets upset with me a lot, he is sometimes mean and say that I’m purposely hurting him when I’m not. He also did hard drugs, and hid it from me. But on the other hand he is very loving, loyal and nice to me, also shows genuine regret and apologizes for all the things he’s done wrong once he realizes it.

      I said we can’t be together until he gets all this sorted so he seems to be working on that. But we’re still close friends and both really hope we can be together again someday

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      • How is he "working on that"? If he keeps doing the same things he regrets and then apologizes for, that's not a good sign, especially if he only recognizes his behavior when you or someone else points it out.

        I learned years ago that apologies in themselves mean nothing unless they're accompanied by a sincere commitment not to repeat the behavior being apologized for.

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        • Yeah I agree and I’ve told him that. Personally I see a lot of improvement.. especially knowing his background of being abused growing up, it makes sense how he’d have difficulty recognizing the negative behaviors on his own..not being rude to you, but genuinely curious: how can you not have sympathy for that ??

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          • Of course I have sympathy for that, but I'd still like to know how he's "working" on it: if it's relying on you, his partner, and only you that's too heavy a burden to carry and he needs good professional help as well.

            I speak from experience of putting lots of time & energy into relationships where I was always the "helper" of people who drained me dry and relied on me for all their support.

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            • true, i will keep that in mind..thanks!!

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  • I can’t really answer your question unless you give us the details on why you think he is insane.

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    • There are some details in the reply below

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  • Is it normal that I do this sometimes, I can't provide any detail whatsoever but ya know, is it normal??

    For crying out loud, do people even try any more?

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    • What?? Uhh if I added details this post would be like 1000s of words long and I doubt anyone would wanna read that. I guess I could sum it up by saying he is reckless/impulsive to where it seems to fit the criteria of a personality disorder?

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      • Is there any particular personality disorder that he most seems to be like?

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        • BPD I would guess but I believe he's really trying to get better

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          • Oh man, I can be a bit of a hard ass bitch about relationships, but Borderline personality disorder pulls at my heartstrings. I wish ya'll well.

            I do think that you should read a book called Stop Walking On Eggshells and that he should start off by reading a book called I Hate You Don't Leave Me. I also think that he should try to find a therapist who is trained in DBT!

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