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he cheated on my mum, i found out hes been done for sexual assault more than once, he was abusive to us as a kid, locked me in the attic all weekend, he did drugs and drank until he nearly died.
but since my mum died i have got closer to him and I actually care about him for the first time, both my sisters want nothing to do with him.
Loving and liking are completely different things. I believe its possible to love someone you don't like at all.
If you spend enough time with him, its completely possible to have empathy and care for him, he's your dad, that's just how it works.
My dad (while not nearly that bad) was a pretty bad dude relatively speaking, cheating, potentially knowingly spreading STDs, will sell his own kid of it means saving a buck (medium level exaggeration). He really only looks out for himself. Although I know this as fact, it doesn't stop me from caring about him and feeling bad for him when he gets depressed, when on a logical standpoint I really shouldn't have any sympathy for him and I really shouldn't even be talking to him after all he's done.
Sadly we have a soft spot for those family members who have done wrong to us. Your Dad is a weak person and you seem strong to deal with his bullshit. If at all possible have him work on his issues. Tell him you're giving him his 5000th chance and you believe in him. Many do in fact realize how horrible they've been and will try to make better. Hopefully he does too.
Make it up to him for being ungrateful by sitting on his lap kissing him and calling him daddy