Is it normal i'm in a relationship but im not over my ex, help!

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14 Comments

Im 18 and am in a pretty chilled and happy relationship now for about 3 weeks, and i really like the girl and im certain i will grow to love her soon enough, but I'm still not over my ex!

Like when i was with my ex (Long distance relationship) i loved her with a burning passion, and she felt the same, but she always lied to me because she thought she wasn't good enough for me (that was her excuse) she also lied about her damn age, she lied about her mother leaving her, she lied about being raped, she lied about loads of little things as well, i guess maybe it was for attention? She also woke me up every night at 3am as i am from the UK and she is from the US, and it took my best friend to talk me into breaking up with her, i should have broken up with her ages ago but i was "love sick".

So i just don't understand how i can still have feelings for this girl that caused me so much pain and hurt, and i am so tempted to message her again but i will just get sucked in and my life will be over because i know i'll fall in love again :(

Are these feelings normal?

Is It Normal?
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Comments ( 14 ) Sort: best | oldest
  • rabbitandpig
    9 years ago | pl

    how much you love her depend on how much you give her, not she give me.
    the more you pay,the more unforgettable you are. that is love code.
    it is normal.

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  • Darkoil
    9 years ago | pl

    Dude you sound like a 12 year old. Strap on a pair and don't be such a pussy.

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  • Duck_Says_Quack
    9 years ago | pl

    What I'm going to tell you won't be the popular answer. Most will tell you to forget about your ex but I think you shouldn't ignore what your heart tells you. Always listen to your heart because it knows what is best for you when your mind is confused.

    As for your ex's lying problem and telling you she felt she she wasn't good enough for you, you must own your part in that. It could be that you didn't do anything specific to cause her to perceive you that way but she did feel it and it was real for her. Maybe there was something more you could have done to reassure her and she would have eventually relaxed with you given the chance. Only you know if you were being supportive enough with her, though.

    You can't let go and move on because you have doubts. If you felt confident in the reasons you aren't together, that they were entirely justified, then you wouldn't have to ask about it on IIN. I think deep down you know you had a chance to make it work with her but you let a friend make your decision for you and stopped listening to your heart.

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    • andimay
      9 years ago | pl

      Unless that bitch is just going to break his heart again, lying is the worst thing you can do in a relationship. If she really loved him then why would she let her lies destroy that?

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      • Anonymous Post Author
        9 years ago | pl

        exactly

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago | pl

      I was being supportive enough...I woke up everynight at 3-4am to speak to her.

      and i always told her i loved her everyday. And i told her that should could tell me anything and i wouldnt judge.

      She's just stupidly immature. And i won't be getting back with her.

      Also, its not always best to listen to your heart. Because it gets brocken. My friend did not make my decision, he told me what he thought, and it made sense, so i listened to his advice, and i listened to my head and decided it was best to break it off

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  • [Old Memory]
    9 years ago | pl

    If she was the last person you fucked, then it's normal.

    If she wasn't, it's weird.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      9 years ago | pl

      k.

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      • [Old Memory]
        9 years ago | pl

        Lmnopqrstuvwxyz

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  • Paradiddle
    9 years ago | pl

    Of course its normal, I certainly wish someone could just flip a switch and turn off their affection for someone instantly with no side effects but I don't think its possible. Besides, what you just listed was not a good partner at all and what you have now is surely miles better. It could be that you ended up dating again way too soon but either way, I say to just live with the feelings and don't let it make you confused or screw anything up, it'll go away. This new girl surely loves you to Reese's Pieces and doesn't spam lies.

    Lets make a game reference. Lets say you just got poisoned in a RPG, Persona 3 maybe. With every action you take, even if its a good one, you lose a chunk of health. That ex is poison. You don't let yourself stay poisoned, right? You heal that crap right up. Jump back in her arms though and its Game Over with no save states.

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