Is it normal i'm fascinated by this crime case

I read about this woman, who advertised for a man to torture her to death, which is a rather odd way to go on, I suppose.
Anyway she got what she wanted from a man calling himself “Toyman” & “Slowhand”. It was made into a film as well. When I saw a photo of the woman who inspired said film she looked so much like me I screamed. She was my age as well.

I am fascinated by this case, simply because I've a friend who does a similar thing. It cheers me up. I love it. We are both disabled so he's too shaky to do anything and I'm too stiff to move. When he starts on about how he'll kill me – describing how he'll dispose of my body, sending me pix of his empty plate with his steak knife (that's not a euphemism) my legs go all light and nothingy and my muscles loosen up.

:: Did she get poorly or cry when he didn't share how he'd end her life?

:: How did either of them have the time to send 800+ emails to each other – didn't either of them eat, sleep, go to the toilet?

:: Did they ever block each other on social media due to a falling-out/irritated with each other?